Everything To Me
-Avalon

I grew up in Sunday school
I memorized the Golden Rule
And how Jesus came to set the sinner free
I know the story inside out
I can tell you all about
The path that led Him up to Calvary
But ask me why He loves me
And I don't know what to say
But I'll never be the same
Because He changed my life when He became...

CHORUS:
Everything to me
He's more than a story
More than words on a page of history
He's the air that I breathe
The water I thirst for
And the ground beneath my feet
He's everything, everything to me

We're living in uncertain times
And more and more I find that I'm aware
Of just how fragile life can be
I want to tell the world I found
A love that turned my life around
They need to know that they can taste and see
Now every day I'm praying
Just to give my heart away
I want to live for Jesus
So that someone else might see that He is...

BRIDGE:
And looking back over my life at the end
I'll go to meet You saying You've been

Listened to this song for many times yesterday. The two verses are just so real to me. I grew up in a Christian family, in church, being forced to read the bible everyday when i was young and memorising proverbs verses BECAUSE my mum said it's important and beneficial. Doing everything because it's a MUST, really knowing the story of Jesus' sacrifice and singing so many songs of God sending His Son for us and Jesus' sufferings, without clearly understanding what everything actually meant was my younger days.

However, God is always faithful. He had everything planned and i had my encounter with Him. A true encounter with Him that cannot be explained or described by the songs i sing or the verses that i memorised. It was and IS still so personal. So amazing and dear to me. Like in the second verse, I truly want to tell the world that I've found a love that turned my life around. AND I really really want to live for Jesus so that someone else might see that He is EVERYTHING TO ME. That He is more than a story, more than words on a page of history. And that He has become the air that I breathe, the water I thirst for and the ground beneath my feet.

Then the bridge which says, "And looking back over my life at the end, I'll go to meet You saying You've been everything to me." I want to say that to God when i meet Him next time. Really. But many atimes, I do fall, I do sin, I do get lazy and tired. Everyday as I pray, I pray for mercy.. Mercy on me, God. Preserve my life, so I may make right with You and make You everything in my life and that I can joyfully join You and fellow angels in Heaven giving You all the praise and glory. Our God is a gracious God. So far, He has never forsaken me anytime. Be it happy or depressing or disappointing incidents. I am grateful that I am serving a faithful and loving God who is not far away or made by man.

Truly, sincerely and with all my heart, I WANT to make him...

EVERYTHING TO ME...

I Am Nothing
-Ginny Owens

I could travel over oceans, cross the deserts, climb the mountains
Just to share Your story, bring You glory, and win souls for You.
I could sing like an angel, songs so humble and so thankful
Full of drama and emotion, so the world would know Your truth.
I could give away my money and my clothes and my food
To restore those people who are poor, lost, and down-and-out.
Oh, I could succeed at all these things,
Find in favor with peasants and kings,
But if I do not love, I am nothing.

I could live a flawless life,
Never cheat or steal or lie,
And always speak so kindly, smile warmly, and go about doing good.
I could dedicate myself to do what everyone else wants me to-
Listen to them, compliment them, say the things I should.
I could show up every Sunday, lead the Choir and Bible Study
And they all might come to know me as a leader and a friend.
Oh, I could achieve success on Earth, but success cannot define my worth
And all these actions, all these words, will not matter in the end-

CHORUS:
Songs will fade to silence,
Stories, they will cease.
The dust will settle, covering all my selfless deeds.
So as I strive to serve You,
Won't You make it clear to me,
If I do not love, I am nothing.

BRIDGE:
If I cannot live my life loving my brother,
Then how can I love the One who lived His life for me?

Sent to Earth from Heaven,
Humble Servant, Holy King,
Come to share a story, get no glory, and save my searching soul,
You knew that I'd deny You, crucify You, but nothing could stop You from
living for me, dying for me, so that I would know-

CHORUS:
Songs will fade to silence,
Stories will cease,
The dust will settle covering these selfless deeds.
But Your life here has made it clear enough for me to see
That if I do not love, I am nothing.

Indeed, I am nothing. I can fake everyone by smiling, joking, mingling with everyone. I can even be on duty on stage singing but my heart wasn't with God. I can easily raise my hands and worship God to portray a spiritual Christian image but what for? Self-glorification? self-satisfaction? What for?

Truly, I am nothing unless I REALLY love God and my brothers. "This commandment we have from Him: that he who loves God must love his brother also" -1 John 4:21 It is a commandment and if I'm not able to do it, I'm sinning..

I'm learning to slowly let go of the hurts, bitterness and pains cos if these persist, I'd only be further and further away from God and that seriously is freaking me out.

In nearly every church, there will be a porcupine people or two, with sharp quills of criticism or sarcasm or arrogance. We want to avoid them, but God places us in communities of believers for fellowship. He commands us to love one another- including the porcupine types. And I do admit that I have quills too.. And so what am I to judge or even continue to dwell in the state of low-lying cos of others?

I'm glad that God is faithful enough to not just leave me to die on my own... He never did leave me alone for a millisecond even when my heart was no longer putting Him as the top priority.. He sent different ones to be there and most importantly, reminded me that I CAN ask from Him the gift of love and forgiveness. I realised so vividly that God nv once failed me when I cry out to Him. It is a promise that He'll be there for us. As we desire Him, we will encounter Him. It is a truth, a promise, an assurance which stands forever. Putting an act in our daily lives is tiring, but when you sincerely do it for God and eventually naturally, it is once again a refreshing and joyful experience every time. I want to try harder for God. For loving each other is the way we show the world that we love God..

Some people can be difficult to love and so we do not even try to care,
But God says, "Love them just as I've loved you. You'll bring Me glory as My love you share."

如果说星星是穷人的钻石,我说他们比我们幸福。
因为他们懂得珍惜身边的人事物。
我的名字也有个“锨”。“锨”与“星”同音。
锨却有如流星，短暂且容易淡忘。
人能在瞬间爱上它，也能在瞬间让它独自毁灭、消失。
锨与星的待遇岂能相同？
如果我也是颗星星，也是某人的钻石，
我是否也能得到同等的幸福，同等的怜惜，同等的爱？
可惜，我不是一颗星星。
不是。

p/s: pls change encoding to "unicode (UTF-8)" to read Chinese blogs.

"esther, you're stuck with me forever! haha.. nothing can pull us apart or let you be away from my love and most importantly, ME. =)" says the Lord.

man.. i'm so tickled even now and i just wanna laugh! the Joy.. the Gratitude that God will never leave, it's just so overwhelming. What can i say? I'm in love. In love with God. ok, maybe someone else also but I just feel that this kinda relationship and love with God, it's just beyond words. beyond imagination. Beyond containment.Beyond everything. argh... Love Ya, God!

Ok.. just a general update, EVERYTHING IS GOING ON WELL FOR ME!! EVERYTHING! I've got great frens around me and Rebecca and I are bridging again. We talked much more and the RV version of her is coming back.. Joining CS is a good choice. But I know at a time like this, the more vulnerable i'd be if i'm not cautious.. So, I'm gonna be really stay connected with God..

Last but not least, thank God for Jidi who really care for the ministry hence bringing abt today's "Journey into God's chamber" meeting. She has been such a blessing... =)

sis say it's time to type something so that the "testing" can be removed. So here am i. hehez..
Basically, I'd say that last wk till now has been a real emotion roller coaster for me but still I wanna thank God for friends and siblings around me. For instance, MY SISTER AND BROTHER! ok, not forgetting Jidi and Cheryl. (dun ask me why but they are really nice pple and have been hanging out with them these days.)
Basically, there was this entrepreneur day last Friday which my class participated and it was really fun! Our cost price was around $80 dollars and other than covering that cost, we profited over $200! hahaha.. who say girls can't be into business!? We've prove you pple W.R.O.N.G.! muahaha.. This event actually prepared us for the upcoming Service Learning in July but this time round, we'd be going out to other schools!! ohoh.. I just realised i didn't mention what good we were selling!! Ok, we sold hand-maded earring. VEry nice! haha..
Alright.. that's not what i wanna say actually. WHAT I WANNA SAY IS I'M LIKE TRANSFERRED INTO THE SINGLES MINISTRY LOH!!! have been spending so much time with Jidi, sister, Cheryl, shirley and pple. I'm a youth. I'm a Youth. I'm a YOUTH. I'm a Y.O.U.T.H!!!! However, it was really fun la. hehez.. It started with Friday they coming over to prepare spagetti (sp?) then Saturday we went to play soccer with the region in the morning. Woah.. Jidi is such a good striker/shooter. haha.. I just can't play soccer for nuts la.. Will only trip over my own leg loh. Then we went to Holland V's NYDC for dinner at night, also to celebrate Richardson's bday of course. Sunday, we went lunch together again! muahaha.. this time rnd with Alice, shirley and another lady. Also, very fun. Laughed a great deal sia! haha.. Tuesday had dinner with Jidi again. I really love her so much! Very nice person who really care for pple and try to remember every single detail of what others say and show concern. I really appreciate her esp in her ministry to reaching out to other single ladies. I can see that my sis is enjoying and engaging herself more with church pple and church stuff. =)
Anyway, i think this is enough to push the "testing" out of the main page. hehez...
P/S: Tuesday's prayer items were really good. "Living a life worthy of the Lord, Obeying God's Word our top priority, Seek God with all our heart and spirit.."

testing.

Actually, i typed a really long blog last night and this afternoon but apparently, due to problems with my internet explorer, all are gone. sianz...
Anyway, the "unsaved" entries were about Passion and Forsaken. Totally no mood to type it all out again now. SHOULD HAVE COPIED IT BEFORE CLICKING ON PUBLISH!! grr... ok, generally, both production is PERFECT!! God's spirit was with us throughout the whole of the production-Forsaken, be it the rehearsals, props making or the actual day itself! I was still very touched on the actual day by the performance despite watching it so many times during the rehearsals. God was indeed in the house! =)
Today's prayer meeting was just awesome. Church feels like a family to me nowadays. or for the past 1 yr esp. The atmosphere in our region is definitely changing! Sis lily went up today and talked abt her being really encouraged upon seeing no segregation in the youths and adults during the preparation for the easter day production. Everyone was so bonded, working with the same heart for God. We prayed against generation gap and indeed after all these months of mingling, there was and will still be breakthroughs! man.. i just cannot contain my excitement!! lalala.. There is really unity in the body now and satan has no means to sow discord. hehez..
I wanna especially appreciate certain pple here though i dunno if they would actually be reading this.

Auntie Jenny and Uncle George
They were the first few who actually opened up to some youths, making us feel comfortable talking to adults then slowly brought us to mingle around with the adults. They are more youthful and energetic than some of us i think. real blessed by them!

Uncle Boyle and Auntie Anne
These are the two amazing ones! They really dote on us lots! bringing us out for food, faithfully sending us encouraging smses and reminding us to go for morning prayers. Lovely couple! esp uncle boyle!! he's so cheeky loh!

Uncle Allan and Sis Brenda
Got to know them better through this production. They dun treat us like kids and really trust us to do things for them. I respect them a lot. Esp their service to God without complain. =)

Uncle Man Seng
Haha... he has a really nice green car!! haha.. Uncle Man Seng really make us feel important and i like him a lot cos when he get down with work, he is very focus and most importantly, he is one big lamer! had lotsa fun hanging around him!

Bro Kenneth and Sis Judy
I think i really talked to sis judy a lot. she's so funny. but her suaning power also very powerful. haha.. She came up to me today and said she has nv imagined that she could actually chat with the youths!! haha.. oh ya.. she even said how excited she was throughout the whole production because the whole atmosphere was so different and she was so happy that she couldn't sleep at night! These are two who really focus and quietly serve ones.. faithful servants!

Sis Lily
What can i say.. I just love her so much! She also contributed lots in helping us walked out of the exclusive nature of youth ministry and really enter into the big family of God. A passionate lady whom i really look up to! Love her company too!!

Bro Stanley and Sis Regina
Bro Benny and Winnifer
Pastor Andrew and sis angela
Mark Mak and wife
Sis Sandy
Bro Henry and Sis Sue
Des's parents
Bro Frankie and wife
Sis Susan
Sis Helen
Man.. the list can just go on forever man!! Nonetheless, I just LOVE them so much! They made a difference in my life and in bridging the gap between youths and adults!
kk.. i will need to find time to blog another time cos i hear my hmwk crying out to me...
I'll be back!!