Have been going morning prayer for the past 4 days, consecutively. It's really comforting to see the group expanding.. When it first started in October, the only youths who went were elvin and i and we were both not frequent. Then slowly, people start joining... Esther foong and desmond. Then now, more! John, Joel, Colleen and Qiuxia! We hit the most number yesterday of 9pple.
Seriously, morning prayer is really a test of self-discipline and fighting the flesh... Many things have been happening in my life esp in my family.. Because of sch work n ministry, i wasn't able to go back msia like my siblings to give support especially to my dad who has just received salvation and is involve in a court case. I told God that since i can't go back, i'll lift up my dad in prayers and I will set apart time for morning prayer. Frankly speaking, ever since i came back from East Timor, i haven't had a good rest... Busy with Drama and now sch assignments. God is faithful no matter what. Daily, as i draw near to Him, He always comforts my heart and grant me new strength to walk on. It is inevitable that there are always problems rising up but still, He will never forsake and leave us to walk through it alone. He is a loving God. =)
Today during morning prayer, I really tried to dig deep into my heart regarding some problems but wasn't able to let go totally.. struggle sia.. but He is so gracious. =) Also, I could feel His comforting hand upon me.. Wah... Just dunno how to describe la. AWESOME. God never fails. NEVER.


Psalm 145
I will exalt you, my God the King;
I will praise your name forever and ever.
Everyday I will praise you
and extol your name forever and ever.
Great is the Lord and most worthy of praise;
his greatness no one can fathom.
One generation will commend your works to another;
they will tell of your mighty acts.
They will speak of the glorious splendor of your majesty,
and I will meditate on your wonderful works.
They will tell of the power of your awesome works,
and I will proclaim your great deeds.
They will celebrate your abundant goodness
and joyfully sing of your righteousness.
The Lord is gracious and compassionate,
slow to anger and rich in love.
The Lord is good to all;
he has compassion on all he has made.
All you have made will praise you, O Lord;
your saints will extol you.
They will tell of the glory of your kingdom
and speak of your might,
so that all men may know of your mighty acts
and the glorious splendor of your kingdom.
Your kingdom is an everlasting kingdom,
and your dominion endures through all generations.
The Lord is faithfull to all his promises
and loving towards all he has made.
The Lord upholds all those who are bowed down.
The eyes of all look to you,
and you give them their food at the proper time.
You open your hand
and satisfy the desires of every living thing.
The Lord is righteous in all his ways
and loving toward all he has made.
The Lord is near to all who call on him;
to all who call on him in truth.
He fulfills the desires of those who fear him;
he hears their cry and save them.
The Lord watches over all who love him,
and all the wicked he will destroy.
My mouth will speak in praise of the Lord.
Let every creature praise his holy name
Forever and ever.

today is 1mth and 7days past my birthday and i got a birthday present from my Sec Sch frens. We met for coffee just now after dinner.
Ok.. this group of SINCERE and NICE frens gave me a BLACK BIKINI!! They say I'm finally 18 and can officially go clubbing and do lots more. I was like diaoz!!! Esp after i put on weight recently, 2 piece swim suit is a NO NO!! Grr... told them to get shirts or blouse.. BUT STILL, I'm thankful for this grp of frens.. we knew each other for 3yrs liao. We were talking abt where to go after A's. Peiling wanna go SMU to study business.. Peiyun wanna go Australia for Hotel Management studies. Becca and I will always be in the same class.. since sec3 till now.. We are the Cheena freaks la... NUS or NTU, we'll most prob still do Chinese together.. But I might consider going NTU since they offer Chinese Mass Comm studies from 2005 onwards and because of the exchange prog i went in NTU, we are already seeded!! cool! hai~ however, no matter what, got to pass A's first... CAn't wait to get out of JC and finish A's...
I met Sharon for dinner and we chatted for near 2hrs.. man.. I'm really glad she's back... Very happy.. =) I really missed her a lot. Can't wait for the next meeting! Today had to end cos meeting my sch frens. Nvm.. She's not going away in near future at least! haha.. kk.. tired.. nose is running, ears still blocked, throat still sore but i'm still going morning prayer for sure. can't wait to be in God's presence everyday! =)

Finally, I got to watch Infernal Affairs 3. It's not bad but very tedious for the brains.. All three of us, i.e. elvin, me and derek, actually felt tired after the show cos we had to think and link it back to the other two prequels. The show was rather confusing with scenes jumping from past to present then past for many times.. But still, I like this show a lot!! Just like Derek and Elvin like Lord of the Rings and will die die watch all three episodes like that. Would want to watch the other two prequels again! =)
Anyway, I met esther foong for breakfast today. We talked a little. I shared with her something about us being unworthy and yet God stretched out His arms of encouragement, forgiveness, love, care and everything towards us.. And sometimes, we don't even appreciate it. We tend to be self-consumed and eventually, start thinking negatively or blame others or even God for not being there or what... Instead of always thinking abt self or inwardly, we should be more out-ward looking..
Today I saw a car plate with ET. Normally when i saw these two alphabets, the first words that i'll link to is Esther Tan. However, today, the first two words that came to my mind was East Timor. U might say it's because i just came back from East Timor that's why my whole mind is full of that. But seriously, how long have my name been with me? It is human and inevitable that i'd first link it to my name. This may just be a small incident but it actually struck me rather hard. I was like... woah.. This change is amazing. I mean.. I saw that i'm in this breaking process and i'm learning to see things in a different light. I like these changes... I desire to be Christ-like.. Man.. it's gonna be difficult of course, but i can do all things thru Him who strengthens me!! =)
Anyway, today was rather mild. Other than the hilarious and crazy game of Monopoly i had with Jason, Joel, Des, Jonathan, Qiuyi. It's just mad la! But fun of course. Though i wasn't feeling well...
Someone finally realised that i was actually sick!! haha.. Now he's feeling guilty cos he felt that i've sacrificed my Xia Sang Ju for him. But seriously, it was my own decision to give him my packet as Christmas present and i didn't had time to go buy again. That silly guy actually felt guilty and kept thanking me. Haiyo... anyway, I'm nice to all who are nice to me and learning how to also love pple whom i can't or have difficulties.. Frankly speaking, who are we to dislike or judge someone when we ourselves are definitely not perfect?
kk... late liao.. tmr still have to do hmwk and go egde..
Nite, world.

.:Merry Christmas:.

Today is Christmas eve. A day when family members gather and celebrate the birth of Jesus Christ. That's what i think. =)
Today when i was in a bus, i saw this family of four. The parents are wearing the same shirt and the two children wearing another same shirt. All four of them were standing beside the road eating ice cream. The father holding the mother's hand. The elder brother holding the younger sister's hand. Very sweet. =)
The last time my family met for dinner was one mth ago and we had to travel from Kota Tinggi and Singapore respectively to gather in JB. Though it only lasted for 2hrs, it was good.. Although there were like my mum's kindergarden staffs, my auntie, auntie's friend, my cousins also.. But we cherish it no matter what.
This year is the first year I'm actually alone in Singapore. My parents and siblings are in msia and my kor is in camp. Even auntie went back. Hai~
My noodles are soggy liao.. update later la..

I'm back from East Timor.
The trip was very fruitful and I learnt a lot. Also experienced God in a whole new dimension. The scenery was breath-taking. We just can't stop wow-ing at God's creation. He's just awesome.
In East Timor, we really were able to just concentrate on God and doing His work.. It was very much re-focusing for myself. I had never felt so easy feeling His presence, hearing His voice, prophesising or even seeing visions. I really didn't want to come back. But still, coming back means facing reality. Coming back means facing distractions, challenges, people, difficulties... To still focus on God and get out of the situation victoriously, that's when God will receive the greatest glory....

Though youth camp is over, I'm still very overwhelmed by God's awesome power and wonderful presence. Currently, I'm still very tickled by God as in i keep wanting to laugh or even scream out loud that "God, you are great!" I have no intention to let it die down or whatsoever though!! lalala...
Totally understand what elvin meant. God's power, love, grace, mercy etc really leaves u speechless and WOW. =)
Haven't had a chance to really get some rest cos strictly speaking, i only came back to Singapore on Sunday and training started on monday and will last till thursday of which I'd be flying off to East Timor with Sis Lily, mum, elvin and desmond on Friday for short term missions.. No time to rest but i'm enjoying every second of it cos I just love dwelling in God's presence! =)
Although yesterday I was still worrying and getting rather frustrated over myself as in I was having difficulties communicating and even work with my mum.. lots of patience is needed... I got so irritated that i really didn't want to go with my mum on this trip. It WAS too much a job for me having to look out for her and stuff... BUT God is faithful. Bro Joseph made an altar call abt the call or work God places in our heart is too big for us to bear but God is always there for us to draw strength from... Ok.. It's not just mum's thing but still other calls that I heard from God during the camp and I was rather stressed up. He work miraculously, doesn't He? I was touched by His assurance and I want to be used by Him to show forth His glory... amen... Now, when things are rough, be it with my mum or what, I learn to lean and rely on Him. He is just simply too awesome for words. =)
oh oh... in case u're wondering why can't i communicate with my mum and stuff, it's because my siblings and i were sent to spore to study and the relationship with our parents is not that "brother-brother, sister-sister" type.. It's more like a senior and junior type of relationship i feel.. So this should be the first time that i'm be totally spending time with my mum and it is not gonna be easy unless I put them in God's hands. ^-^
Anyway, it's late and i'm gonna be late for sessions if i dun get out of my house soon.
EAST TIMOR, HERE WE COME! haha...
oh ya... I had sorta two words from God during prayer meeting last night!
Firstly, it was about who and what my heart is beating for.. ok.. I admit I'm easily distracted and tend to place some stuff over God sometimes and He said, "Let your heart beat for me totally, not for other pple or other things..." I repented before Him.. And promised that I'd let my heart beat for Him only...
Then, after the pple prayed for us as in the team, I was filled with the spirit and started sorta laughing.. (so pai seh! hehez..) Then when i got back to my seat, i felt so thirsty.. While I was drinking water, I heard God again... "Be my salt so they may thirst for me." I was like "WOW!" okok... I wanna be the salt! =)
God rocks my world, I wanna rock others'.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME!! ~* =)

I'm very encouraged and comforted today... because of DESMOND NG!!! haha... told him i'll dedicate an entry to him so here goes!!
DESMOND, THIS IS FOR U!! =)
This desmond ah... knew him when he was Pri6. Just wanna say he has really matured and grew these few years to someone more open, happy and sensible.. I'm very happy and comforted by his change... =) God is really great. He is one who changes lives... Amen.

I really need to stop for a moment to ponder what am I doing with my life.. I felt so messed up recently and i just don't have the time (this is an excuse for i'm too lazy) and allow myself to be consumed by many other things... I felt so dry... I felt so away from Him... and He is my father... I felt so "choked" by dunno what.. I want to draw near. I want to hear from Him but i just don't understand why i can't. There are so many voices and i'm very very confused. I want a C.H.A.N.G.E. I need God to speak to me and i'm not giving Him the attention.. I allowed myself to lose focus and stubbornly shafting all the other emotions, feelings and thoughts to another corner though i know something needs to be done... Seriously, I'm guilty of purposely or maybe not purposely making myself so busy that I don't have time to think about God or my walk with Him. I actually felt so tired talking to God. *slap myself* But I knew this can't go on. I've fallen into this comfort zone of being a "named" christian... It became a duty and routine to a certain extent. Again, I knew this cannot go on.
God is faithful... He is gracious, merciful and forgiving...

"So come home running
His arms are open wide
His name is Jesus
He understands
He is the answer
You are looking for
So come home running
Just as you are"
He reminded me of His love MANY times these few days.. Friday's net, edge, evening service and everything..
It's time to quiet down and listen to His still and assuring voice.
He is all I need.

Went for morning prayer yesterday... It was good!! I felt God's presence so strongly... Actually i haven't even finished all the things i wanna pray for when Bro.Andrew gathered us for some prayer needs. However, it was when we were praying for pastor seaward, I keep hearing this phrase, "Catch his heartbeat. Catch My heartbeat." I was like "woah!!" Indeed, many atimes, we just dun wanna get out of out comfort zone and step out to do what we are SUPPOSE to do... Maybe not "don't want" but we tend to let laziness and this "no urgency" overwhelm us... Maybe we tend to think there's always tomorrow... but what if there isn't... I'm more and more afraid as each day passes with my dad and elder bro not receiving Christ totally... Or even other friends... There's no more time.


(taken from an email)
I had on new clothes,
New sneakers on my feet.
I was there for class on time,
Went to the back and took my seat.

Yeah, I'm moving up,
I'm already grown.
Soon I'll be graduating,
And out on my own.

I talked to some of my friends,
We were all having fun.
Said some things I shouldn't have said.
Did stuff I shouldn't have done.

I knew I was different.
I felt God touch my heart,
I knew I should set a standard,
But then I'd be set apart.

Walking to the bus,
I was not looking for strength.
I heard the car tires screeching,
But now it's too late.

I'm standing in this room,
And I can see the heavenly gate.
Oh no! I never prayed.
I thought I had time to get it straight!

An angel walked to me,
He had a book in his hand.
I knew it was the Book of Life,
When would this dream end?

I told him my name,
And he began to look.
Then he looked at me sadly and said,
Your name is not in this book.

Angel, this is a dream,
No, I can't be dead!
He closed the book and turned away,
He whispered - You cannot proceed ahead.

No...no this can't be real,
Angel, you can't turn me away.
Let me talk to God,
Maybe he'll let me stay.

He led me to the gate,
Jesus came to me.
He did not let me in but said,
Beloved what is your need?

Jesus, I cried, please,
Don't cast me away from you.
Tears ran down his face as he said,
You knew what you needed to do.

Lord, please I'm young,
I never thought I would die.
I thought I'd have plenty of time,
Death caught me by surprise.

Lord, I went to church,
Please Jesus, I believe.
He said you would not accept me,
My love you would not receive.

Lord, there were too many
hypocrites. They weren't being true.
He took a step back and asked,
What does that have to do with you?

Lord, my family claimed to be
saved, They weren't real. You know.
He said, I died for you,
Now I have to go.

I fell to my knees crying to Him,
Lord, I planned to be real tomorrow.
I couldn't make Him understand,
I had never felt such sorrow.

Then it hit me hard, I said,
Lord, where will I go?
He looked into my eyes
and said, My child you already know.

Please Jesus, I begged,
The place is so hot.
It seemed to trouble and grieve him,
He whispered, DEPART FROM ME, I KNOW YOU NOT.

Lord, you're supposed to be love,
How can you send me to damnation?
He replied, With your mouth you said you loved me,
But each day you rejected my salvation.

With that in an instant,
Day turned into night.
I never knew such torture could be,
Now too late, I know the Bible is right.

If I can tell you anything,
Hell has no age.
It is a place of torture,
Separated from God and full of rage.

You know, I thought it was funny,a joke,
But this one thing is true.
If you never accept Jesus Christ,
HELL IS WAITING FOR YOU!

Holidays pls come fast.
Another day in sch is killing me.

I'm screaming loudly.
No one heard it.
I'm crying bitterly.
No one wiped my tears.


I want to learn to depend on Him.
I want to hear His voice.
I want to feel Him.
Come....

Woo.. HAven't blog for more than a wk~! ok... One reason is that i'm lazy and the other is i simply dunno what to write! not that i dun have anything to update but just dunno how to gather my thoughts... Anyway, since i have more than an hour now before my next lesson and having gotten a complain from my beloved nagger, shirley, I shall blog! =)
So much for the crappy intro and i'm stuck AGAIN... duh... and now i only have 20min left.. I think i should just give up.. Wanted to write abt something serious which i have been struggling with and have yet to convince myself but i need time to generate my thoughts.. think i'd just write abt my msia trip yesterday...
ok.. basically, I went back to msia really early yesterday morning like 6am to make my passport cos expire liao... (dun ask me how come no sch.) For the first time, i'm gonna spend time with my dad alone. Was rather worried the night before as i was afraid that we'd have nothing to say to each other but still everything went on fine. =)
It first started with the realisation of the change of routes at the customs which caused us to drive in circles for a while before giving up and driving around to look for alternative routes. hehez.. To make things worse, all the road signs were in Malay and I DUN UNDERSTAND A SINGLE THING let alone help my dad to find the place... =(
However, we still made it there lah. Then was there for near 3 hrs which was considered quite fast liao cos normally it'd take a whole day! We just chit chatted a bit while waiting loh.. mum and sis called also.. time passed quite fast actually. =)
Then we went for lunch near the customs cos my dad said that years ago when he used to go there to change money, there's a VERY nice noodle house and he loved it a lot.. so we went food searching and realised that they have shifted.. argh.. so we went to try out this herbal roasted duck. Quite nice though.. we stayed there quite a while to chit chat.
Though my dad nv study a lot last time, i realised that his ideas are all very new and practical. As he told me abt some business strategies and how to study market trends, they are actually stuffs in my econs text bk and things that my lecturers said before, just that his was in his own terms, no technical terms like LDMR or whatever. I was impressed. =) But all these, he learns through yrs of hardwork in his business and his observations. I really believe that if dad has studied more, he'd be even more successful than now! ok.. I think dad is successful now mah...
Alright... then dad had to rush back to KT cos he still had lotsa work to do... So he gave me Rm100 and dropped me at city square for me to shop and i'll go back spore myself lah. Not bad eh... I needed a pair of shoes...
Ok.. with the money in hand, i went to PADINI. It's the biggest shop in city square i think. One stop. I bought a pair of shoes and 2 tops. Dun doubt the quality k? It is good quality one. The shoes i saw them in spore before but i thought it was rather ex and i got them for Rm29.90! which is abt S$14. lalala.. =) Then I walked pass this ethnic accessories shop.. very cool!! and i bought a ring. ALRIGHT PPLE, ALL THESE 4 ITEMS FOR JUST Rm100(S$50)!!! really cheap sia...
hehez.. kk.. time's gonna be up soon have to go for my 3 loooooooong chinese periods. I nv memorise the 3poems that i'm SUPPOSE to... =P
Oh ya, I'd be going JB on Friday again to retrieve my passport but this time dun need to wake up early and i dun have sch that day~~!!! lala.. anyone wanna join me?! I know Charlotte has to ask her mum... dun think she can tho... Singaporean parents very protective... =)
P/S: I WENT SWIMMING YESTERDAY AFTER SO LONG~! 14laps! =)

Ok.. below is a song i've been hearing for the whole morning. Like it. =)


Alright.. I'm home AGAIN. Haven't fully recover yet... This is the 2nd day in a row i'm not in sch.. but still can't escape work lah.. cos alvyn just msged and i have to go get cardboard and styrofoam to do some openhouse booth deco for ROMANIS. Hai~ Have to drag myself outta house... a bit weak.. to make things worse, JE popular is under renovation.. hai~!! Help!!
Anyway, finally had a decent meal last evening cos ELVIN AND QIUYI brought food over!! lalala... so nice of them. Actually desmond offered to buy lunch also but i was sleeping when he msged... Thanks though!! ok.. elvin also bought some herbal tea bags.. which i think stinks... okok.. I shall be more appreciative.. =) They stayed for near an hour. just chit chatted and watch Holland V!! haha...
Qiuyi said that she just realised qiuxia and jing jing very identical in character. Elvin and i were like, "you only realise NOW?!" duh....
After they left, Tino called. Chatted for a while then he went gym.
The new 9pm show is SOOOOO NICE!!! WONG LILIN IS SOOOOO CUTE!! Can watch lah. but i dun like Chen han wei's character in the show leh... I also dun really like Edmund Chen... Keep thinking he's too old for that character.. in the end, feel as though he's acting cute.. hai~
ok pple... I went blogskin searching for near an hour and found nothing suitable. There's this totally black one that i like but i think rather depressing. So in the end, no changes. duh.
k... i need rest again.. later got to go out to buy the materials... AGAIN, hopefully will have someone visiting!! =) *hint*

TO THE ENDS OF THE EARTH
Love unfailing, overtaking my heart.
You take me in.
Finding peace again, fear is lost in all You are.
And I would give the world to tell Your story,
'cause I know that You've called me, I know that You've called me.
I've lost myself for good within Your promise
and I won't hide it, I won't hide it.
Jesus I believe in You, and I would go,
to the ends of the earth, to the ends of the earth.
For You alone are the Son of God,
and all the world will see that You are God,
that You are God.

Just trying out...

everyone's blog is getting nicer and nicer... I'm gonna do something to mine too!! Grr...
Anyway, am at home now not because i play truancy again but because I'm SICK. bleahz... I thought i was going to die last night! haha.. but i survived no matter what...


3pm
-just running nose.
5pm
-MORE running nose
5:30pm
- MORE MORE running nose and feeling SLIGHTly cold.
6pm
- first temperature check, 37.1degrees.
6:30pm
- feeling extremely cold, wrapped myself in sweater and blanket.
- 2nd temperature check, 37.8degrees.
7pm
- practically shivering, but still eating sugar crackers.
- 3rd temperature check, 38.1degrees!!!!!
7:15pm
- cried cos something happened and started having headache.
- 4th temperature check, 38.6degrees!!!
7:30pm
- mum and sis returned home with dinner. They bought fruit soup for me. (yucks!) And also some Chinese medication. Ok.. I'm allergic to panadol, aspirin, paracetamol(sp?),...
-5th temperature check, still 38.6degrees.
7:30pm to 9pm
-laid on the sofa, wrapped up in blanket and sweater.
-6th temperature check 38.3degrees.
-mum said once hit 39degrees, go hospital. then she went back msia...
-keep changing ice packs.
9pm
-cannot finish PW work... Can't read cos the words seems to be dancing and nothing goes into my mind. decided to call mr lee to see if can postpone the deadline for PW file... BUT he said cannot...
-I pulled myself outta the sofa and started pia-ing my PW with a fever. Handwriting was stinking ugly cos my hands were trembling... Had to annotate 5sets of articles of average 7 pages each... And write the analysis for all 5. darn...
-Siting called and we contacted Charlotte to see if she can pick it up for my grp this morning and pass to siting and thank God, she agreed... =)
-pia-ing continues until 11pm...
-no temperature check. no time.
-ice packs still
11pm
- finished the last piece.
- more headache.
- eyes are swollen due to either fever or medication.
- still ice packs.
- 7th temperature check, 38.1degrees.
11:30pm- finished packing the folder and informed siting of the contents.
- Sis warned me not to spread to her cos she's pia-ing her experiment and thesis.
- John set a radius of 3metres. He's gonna have his O's mah.
- I'm quarantined in my mum's room. -sob-
- 8th temperature check, 38.2degrees.
12am.
- sms sms sms. =)
- lying on my mum's king size bed, wrapped up once again. feeling sleepy finally... but still feeling rather uncomforable...
- fully equiped with tissue paper, dustbin, water bottle, bible and thermometer.
- drank a cup of herbal tea (ling yang)
- 9th temperature check, 38.0degrees.
12:30am
- knocked off. =)
12:30-8am
- woke up NUMEROUS times...
- this was the period of time when i really thought i'm gonna die. haha.. cos everyone is sleeping and i'm alone in my mum's room and I was so uncomfortable... fever, flu, feeling cold and warm at the same time... BUT God is faithful.. He kept me in His hands... =)
8am
- 10th temperature check, 37.4degrees... (thank God... ^-^)
- sis preparing to head back to sch.. Suddenly realised i'm gonna be alone at home, without food! haha...
8:30am
- sis went down to buy cambell soup and peel fresh apple juice. That would be my lunch.
- was thinking of asking somebody to send food over leh... But everyone is in sch. hai~
- 11th temperature check, 37.2degrees. (I'm getting better!)
- BUT headache is getting worse... argh. (sis say had high fever last night and so it's normal to have headache.)
9am
- online!!! Nothing to do and have no strength to do anything anyway.
- found a box of choc fruit cake in the fridge. Ate a small slice with apple juice. it's not very nice...
- my newest best friend, derek is entertaining me via sms now. BUT he's only irritating me!! telling me he's walking around to kill time and blah. MEANIE!!!
- 12th temperature check, 37.1degrees...
10am.
- got to rest for a while.. getting tired.. really feel weak sia!!
- HOPING THAT SOMEONE WILL READ THIS ENTRY SOON AND CONTACT ME!! TO ASK ME IF I NEED LUNCH!!! AMEN! =)

My nose is running!! man.. i hate being sick... I WANT TO RECOVER!!! hehez.. pple pls pray for me ya!? =)
Anyway, enjoyed myself thoroughly today with my bro! We went ACJC for their openhouse and stayed there for near 2hours!! haha... just walked around, talked to my classmates, take photo, watched some performances,... Not bad lah.. this yr's more fun and interesting than last yr's. Too bad my bro not planning to go ACJC lah.. =( Now all my ex-classmates know who's my bro liao! Tim Chek say my bro look like my boyfriend. haha.. my bro even requested to see Alex Kwan!! haha.. BUT I really saw MANY friends! SO happy!! lalala... =)
kk.. My current state of health is bad... really gotta rest.. still have to rush PW. I HATE PW!! It is totally nonsensical!!!! Grr...

God rocks~! lalala...
I'm sitting here, telling myself i need to blog BUT i have nothing in my mind right now. =) Still having a headache. Dunno from what... low blood pressure again? ok.. i admit. I didn't touch my medicine at all. =P
k... I watched Matchstick men on Wed with my newest best friend, Derek. haha.. the show was good. The ending is amazing! k.. shall not say too much.. but it's really worth a watch! =) Anyway, the most hilarious part was after the movie... Both of us like running around looking for TOILET! then 6th floor's out of bounds, we have to go find another one then keep saying to each other "cannot tahan liao".! haha.. ok.. like siao pple like that. =)
alright, yesterday was Jason's big bang but apparently, my whole net went down to help out. A total of 13 visitors including my net's new visitor, Daniel. It was rather fun cos i knew some of them already cos they are mostly my brother's frens and all of them were not some dao pple but instead, even suan and bully me when we played the "polar bear game" hosted by Daniel. Haha... This game is really interesting. next time must try again. They actually played the game twice!! after makaning, my bro suggested to play it again cos he was out in the first round for both times we played it! haha... kk.. I think everyone enjoyed themselves lah.. BUT most importantly, thank God for bringing them cos initially, Joash only invited 2 of his friends when it's supposedly his bday party lah.. in the end, out of nowhere, my brother's 10 friends appeared!!! =) i think even jason was shocked! He was like whispering to me what should we do now blah blah blah... God is faithful always! =)
Alright.. I have to get ready liao... HAve to give tuition then meet my brother for lunch then go ACJC's openhouse with him. He wanna go look see look see then i can visit my 1st 3mths' friends as well... miss em leh! =)
tata!

I thank God for my legs.
I went to watch ASEAN WHEELCHAIR BASKETBALL CHAMPIONSHIPS TODAY. Despite their imperfection physically and some disabilities, they overcame it and are able to represent their country in para competition. I'm very encouraged esp when they fall off their wheelchair during the game and climbed back onto it all by themselves... I look at myself. So many times, we're complaining about the problems in our lives, totally dwelling in our own misery and set-backs. These people can't use their legs, some doesn't even have legs BUT they chose to get out of their self-pity and regain their confidence and self-esteem. Though, of course, it requires time but they found their own share of joy and satisfaction. They found their own sky.
I just want to encourage you all to come down and give them your support.. They were really happy to have us cheering them on today and they fought hard for their country. Trust me, it's worth watching. It's really exciting. =)
ASEAN WHEELCHAIR BASKETBALL CHAMPIONSHIPS
Time: 5pm-8:30pm (14/10) 1pm-5pm (15/10)
Venue: Jurong East Sports Hall.

Have quite a number of things to update but little time lah...
k.. firstly...
Tino received salvation on Sat and I was really very happy. I could practically see angels rejoicing in heaven for this new soul in His kingdom. =) Man... God is awesome! ^-^
Tino's coming to the LOrd is especially significant to me because it has been so long since i have another friend receiving salvation... Really get disheartened at times when people just keep rejecting ur invitation to church or even if visited service but refuses to get to know God better... Tino's salvation really let me feel that indeed God is faithful and it is true that even when u're tired and weary but u still choose to serve God, He will bless u in return. In many folds. He is true and never failing. =)
When Tino went out with Bro Stanley to fill in the salvation card, we continue worshipping God and I just felt tears in my eyes. I was really overjoyed because my friend had just been pulled away from the fires of hell. I remembered during last year's youth camp, that eric and sharon prayed for this extreme joy and heartache for the souls. After so long, I felt it again...
Sunday morning service was again on SOWING and SOULS. What is our purpose on Earth? We really need to recap again. Many we have fallen into this comfort zone when we feel that we enjoying fellow Christians' company and praising and worshipping God is sufficient. But it's NOT. What about the others? What about those who are longing for love? Unfailing and everlasting love? Are we acting selfishly?
I WANT to understand my purpose in this world which is to make disciples to the ends of the earth.

OCS Commissioning ball 2003
It was on a whole very poshy and everyone was very well dressed. I think i really dun suit this kinda functions... =( Anyway, my sis went as my brother's the other friend's date. It was really a night when the guys were behaving really gentlemanly. Jackson (my sis's date) was really very sweet. served my sis very well.. pull chair, serve food.. Tino... He kept daydreaming. haha.. in the end, most of my food were served by either Jackson, my sis or my kor.. Until a pt of time, they started HINTING him really obviously in front of me.. But maybe Tino was very tired also lah.. He was there since 1pm and had to rush down to pick me up then back to hotel again. He;s in the committee. =)
There was free photo taking. We went to take and it was rather fun lah. Got one instant shot on the spot and Tino will collect the others when they call. Quite nice lah. =)
Anyway, someone proposed last night! Ok.. a few couples were dragged on stage to play games... then the games was what would u say if u're proposing.. then when came to their turn, we thought still playing mah.. but apparently, he came up with flowers then he dug into his pocket and really revealed a ring.. the girl was so shocked.. she even cried. then he proposed and she agreed.. they kissed on stage! very sweet! very touching! =) they were together for 7 yrs. =) At that pt of time, i also wanna get married.. lalala...
kk... got to prepare the house for my sister's big bang before her friends come over. Still have edge.. bringing tino.


He told her his feelings but she rejected him. Told him her priorities and he was understanding. She admired this quality and indeed when it's time to let go, one should be willing to.. He later said that he sort of shouldn't have asked her to be his girlfriend cos he is going to disrupt to futher his studies in states... Very sensible.. They are still friends. Things are always better to talk it out clearly than to leave it dangling in the air. he said in his page, "I didn't get the reply I hoped for, but I was unusually happy, for some reason :P I felt that loving someone no longer has to mean to be with someone, I felt so happy that she could make that decision. I was partially smiling all night! Sometimes, it is not all about giving in, sometimes it is also about giving up. I respect her, I respect her decision".

I'm so tired now. Suppose to sleep in today but was awake at 7am cos my kor was noisy. Tried to go back to sleep but to no avail.. hai~ slept at 1:30am last night somemore... duh. Going to sch in a while for house council meeting then rehearsal for Current Affairs quiz.
Yesterday was rather fruitful i think. After paper, went town to meet Charlene, Siting and Shanny with Rebecca. We were suppose to pluck eyebrows and test out the eyelash volumiser. Apparently wrong timing lah.. The mother not free... but she did the eyelash thing on me.. woah! Really lengthened and volumised my eyelashed! haha.. she wanna lend me for tonight's ball but after trying on the other eye MYSELF, can't get the effect AT ALL. gave up.
Then went peace centre to meet my cousin. She's very nice! She brought 3 dresses, numerous sets of accessories as in necklaces and stuff, a shawl and 1 pair of shoes! Then we were matching the dresses with her conference room. So fun! Woo... then her boyfirend drove us to taka in his blue sports car! Rebecca and i really think the car is darn nice! =)
Anyway, went taka to meet tino. erm.. he lost his way again. Rebecca keep saying must minus points liao! haha.. then all three of us went Yoshinoya to eat. Rebecca and I were very tired liao... Ultimate was when rebecca was too tired to eat her food! Despite complaining that she's very hungry since 6:30pm. lalala... SHopped for shoes after that. Got it within 15min. Having becca is a bliss! haha..
Then proceeded to Paragon's baker's Inn to meet qiuyi and richardson. These two ah.. Eat so much already still wanna eat desserts. Ask me over to help. tsk tsk.. but the cheese cake is tooooooo sinful.. very rich. really tasty but i was full lah. =) THEN WE WAITED 30MIN FOR THE CAB!!! Grr...
anyway, i'll update later lah... i gtg for THE very THE meeting.

TODAY IS THE DAY TODAY IS THE DAY TODAY IS THE DAY~! lalala...


Dunno how to describe my excitement now!!! erm... though i have not taken the LAST paper yet... BUT BUT BUT!! It's ok! I'm just sooooooooooooooooooo happy that promos is coming to an end! =)
I didn't take the GSC paper yesterday. Went to see doctor and discovered that i'm have Low Blood Pressure. He gave me two days MC. Apparently he said that it is rather serious cos my blood pressure is quite low for someone of my age! So ACTUALLY today can also dun take paper BUT i'm not going to pon... Low Blood Pressure comes from tiredness, anxiety and depression! duh. I'm having none of the above leh... maybe have i also dunno lah. =)
Everyone, I've added a few new links. Can check it out! like my sis's, desmond's, derek from elim. =)
WARNING: Elvin Foong, it's time to update ur blog. lalala...
kk.. gtg liao! =) I'm so happy! woo... overjoyed~!

yup.. i think my previous entry is erm.. too over-heated. Anyway, I believe i have to be cautious as it might be through observation that pple came up with that idea. NOT considering if they actually see the whole picture when they make the comment, i still have to be careful. So for those who actually made that comment, i'm sorry for getting a bit worked up. I'll learn as time goes i think. And try standing in your shoe. yup.


Two more days. Three more papers. MY prolonged painful agony will be gone. Totally gone. Really just wanna get over and done with exams. Sux totally.
I think today's geog paper is the ultimate. 30 min after the start of paper, most of the pple around me started sleeping... Everyone just can't finish studying and maybe we still dun sense the urgency and seriousness... BUT for me, i just wanna promote and try to brush up or tie up whatever ends AFTER promos... =)

Had dinner with tino just now. (hopefully this would not bring another round of comments) Was rather fun lah. He's very lame! I was at westmall studying with becca and we met for dinner then i went home. Too tired lah.. Was awake since 5:30am this morning... Gonna sleep before 10pm today. Tomorrow still have two papers and i NEED the rest esp for tmr's papers.. namely Math and General Studies of Chinese. Dun ask me what's GSC. It's too difficult to explain. =P

The comms ball is this friday and my excitement is dying down.. not because i dun wanna go of course... =) I have been looking forward to it all this while though. ^-^ (Today's daily bread is about "power of words". ) Will be meeting Siting and Charlene after my papers on Thursday i think... They'll be finishing their paper one day earlier than me! grr.. Meeting to get some things for the ball... I only managed to get the dress that day mah...

Anyway, time's up. I need to go. Before my clothes turn into rugs or my computer turns into a box. =)

Received a mail from Sharon saying that some have "informed" her about my boy craze. In my mind was like "huh?! boy craze?" Ok... hopefully when those pple converse with her, they were in a joking tone. I dun need another round of nonsense. period. I'm ESPECIALLY paranoid over this kinda nonsense.
Pple just enjoy talking abt it and not looking at themselves. Sometimes, we just dun see the huge pillar in our eyes but took notice of the little "toothpick" in others. duh. Maybe I shouldn't hang out with guys too much but I can be certain is that there's NOTHING going on. Plus, I can jolly well name the pple i've been spending my time with and it'll only bring down to ONE guy recently and he is ELVIN. I think elvin hangs out with other girls as well anyways. If plain fellowship is also not allowed, I'm starting to understand better why there're so many single ladies in our church liao. Quoting derek from his blog, "the tongue is a powerful weapon that can be used to raise up or tear down... "
If my boy craze is over tino, it's even more ridiculous cos we have only known each other for less than a month and have only officially met up once with my elder brother arnd. I bother to tell some and joked abt the whole incident and even portray my true excitment being able to go for a ball and jokingly entertained all with my "I wanna get married." display seems to have negative results.
I won't be surprise why more and more youths are declining from sharing esp abt BGRs.. It's really sad... I don't wanna fall into that catorgary as well. Bro willie always say accountability and transparency. But the results of that is not that pleasing actually. Pple just ENJOY thinking otherwise. =(
Anyway, tmr is the start of my whole week of day after day exams. Hopefully i'd be able to make it through through God who strengthens me and get my mind of things i'm not suppose to be thinking. Diaoz. Plus the death of my HP...
However, I totally enjoyed myself at my brother's commissioning! It was very touching esp when they threw their "caps" into the air. Woo... very cool... slow march was good! All were so stern and serious.. Pictures are up. Go visit my webshot under the album "My elder bro, david".
kk... it's back to books! coffeebean awaits me...

Everyone, I'm so sorry that i have so many prayer request but this time you all have to help me!!!!
MY HANDPHONE DIED!!! PRAY FOR IT TO COME BACK TO LIFE!
sob... i want my numbers back... i want my numbers back...

Anyone who reads this entry before 8am tmr, pls pray for me. My ears have been buzzing and blocked for the past few days and it's causing me to feel giddy and at the same time, very irritated. when i speak or listen to others, it's echoing... Tmr is one of my major papers and i NEED to pass it. It's economics... Something that i have been burying myself in but just can't seem to comprehen..
Thank you so much and once again, INFERNAL AFFAIRS IS SOOOOOO NICE! ^-^

Saw something that i shouldn't and didn't want to yesterday.


I STUDIED SINCE 8am YESTERDAY! *applause* all the way until 5plus. Ok.. of course with SOME chit chatting in between with Siting and Charlene and 30min shopping for things for the ball. Then we proceeded to Plaza Singapore to meet Derek to watch.... *drums roll* INFERNAL AFFAIRS.
Hey peeps!! You all HAVE to watch the show!! You really dunno what you are missing!!!! IT'S SO STINKING NICE!!! ARGH!! I'm gonna watch it again!! lalala...
Wah... edisen chen is sooooo handsome! Whenever he appear, i'd just melt loh!! hmm... maybe this time it's not as good as the previous one BUT it's still nice! Wanted to cry a few times and really did for a particular scene... wah.. just practically couldn't breathe.. Who wants to watch again?~ Ask me ask me!! My promos ends on the 9th!
man.. i'm in a holiday or post exams mood now.. a bit or many bits worried... I don't even feel like I'm having exams! It's worrying worrying worrying.. When i did the mock paper yesterday for econs, I couldn't answer ANY of the MCQs but managed to guess the ans of a few correctly. Time is burning out. or already out. Tomorrow is my econs paper. God bless me.
P/s: I thank God for Chris. When i saw pple i'm not suppose to, he called me. Indeed I had fallen into the trap of denial. And i'm getting out of it. Thank God for divinely appointed friends- Chris!! =)

she said "things have changed and that things might never be the same again."
"I lost her months ago and I only realise it now."
"Friends come and go."
"They won't stand by you all the time. This is what I have learnt. But, I will still stick to my values and stay by those who will stand by me longer than the others... "


She really was my best friend. Four years. We cried together when we lost matches. We crapped and laughed together. Went for National Trials together. Being selected for clubs together. Being scouted by other JCs together. Ended in the same JC. Played in the same team for 5 yrs. We had been with each other for very long. She said i was her elder sis. Always taking care of her and giving her opinions of which she felt was always useful... However when things turn sour and both of us or maybe most of it, me, didn't try to salvage, the relationship will nv be the same again.
I understand that friends come and go. I miss her but the feeling isn't there anymore.
Indeed, I lost her and she lost me.

I need to get a dress asap for the ball.


Today marks the first day of my promotional exams. For those who don't know what is a promotional exams (more commonly known as promos), it is an examination that all JC1s have to take to determine if they qualify for JC second yr. If fail, will be retained.
Basically, didn't exactly feel anything throughout all FOUR papers today. It was more like a routine. Like I know i have to finish the paper and a bit like zombie lah... Just do and do, write and write then hand them in. Maybe this is the result of 15 years of schooling. No matter what i'm glad that at least 4papers are done. I have 5 more to go.. met lin wei in the bus and she said she only have 3 more and all are with at least 3days interval. Ok.. My subject combi just sux. =(
Anyway, wanna thank all those who encouraged me be it through email or sms such as MADELINE (she was really swift in replying. -applause-), desmond, derek, qiuxia, qiuyi, elvin...
I believe all prayers work and I felt God's intervention today despite being quite in a daze. =)
kk.. I'm not exactly in a mood to update actually. Gonna study at harbour front again tmr. Was planning to watch Infernal Affairs on Wednesay until elvin reminded me that there's combine worship and prayer ministry meeting.. I totally forgot abt it... but since i'm in the midst of exams, can i be excused? I really wanna watch Infernal Affairs... Waited for so long liao.. I think I'd go and watch on wed even if no one comes along. I WANT to watch it! hee.. so brat. =P lalala..
kk... John wanna use com liao.
P/s: pray for my shoulder pls, pple... Today even had to put hot pack while taking the papers cos painful. =(

ok. I AM TOTALLY EXHAUSTED. I attended sch for 1 whole week without MC!! Ok.. other than leaving sch early on monday. It's a great accomplishment k! hahaha... =)
Ok.. another "accomplishment" is i actually did homework this wk! like 3 geog tutorials, 1 GP comprehension and half a econs essay! hahaha... Wanted to finish the econs essay on tuesday night one but there was guest in the house and all of us were just toooooo distracted. "Us" as in john and his frens and me! Ok.. guest was tino. Kor and him came back from camp to print something. Fortunately, maid was around so the house is in GOOD and TIDY condition! He is really talented in those designing stuff. He played john's guitar also. Not bad lah. crush crush! hahaha... but jie and friends say better dun indulge cos he's not Christian! hee... =) understand lah, pple!
Anyway, not gonna think abt it too much cos no harm just being friends mah. Moreover, kor say i'm goin to the comm's ball with him so at least know him better can help ease awkwardness. =)
ok.. it's getting late and i'm getting really tired.... tomorrow gonna study at harbourfront before going elim for the edge.
rest well, world. =)

Went to auntie Jenny's place to have dinner last night. We had steamboat but I didn't touch the steamboat at all!! haha.. Ate the ready cooked food with elvin, esther, eric and the kids. haha.. the russian team and adults eat at the table.. sob... elvin said the xia ren (servents) eat in the living room. haha.. =)
Anyway, it was very fun cos everyone know each other and Cynthia and Wendy were just too funny! I'm gonna miss them when they leave man... =( Oh ya.. Bro kenny's twin daughters also very cute. I played Lego with them. hmm... due to the pause to play with them, totally didn't feel like eating anymore liao. Must at one go for me one.. haha.. UNLIKE SOMEBODY. He ate 3 rounds! No wonder his mother always say he eats a lot.. lalala.. dun need to guess also know who ya, pple? hee... =D
I was half maria there last night. Cos ELVIN FOONG YAN KIT said I should wash the dishes! Being nice and filial to my godmother, I washed the dishes with Rina. Then cleared the toys then served the ice-cream. But the Full maria is still elvin lah. After we left, he had to clean up the place and dishes by himself. BUT he's the host mah. lalalala...
Enjoyed myself thoroughly!! haha.. So thank you elvin for inviting!! hee.. =) Fortunately he didn't say things he isn't suppose to!
Btw, I'm getting a treat to go for Turn Left Turn right AGAIN cos somebody is getting paranoid wanting to know SOMETHING! haha.. I hope the treat comes with the video clip! *hint hint* =)
kk.. didn't go prayer tonight cos i need to finish my geog tutorial and econs essay. "Monopoly is evil. Do u agree?"
take care!

Lalala.. this is the dunno how many days in this month that i sneaked out of sch before the appointed time... kk... one of the reason why i'm home this early is because i'm still sick and the other is MS ANG GEK BOON is absent!! wah.. i've not seen the class so excited over something before! ok... We don't erm.. really like her lessons lah.. and there's 3 periods of GP today and her absence means early dismissal and peace! cos many of us hasn't finish the GP compre.. including urs truly.. Flunking GP for promos should still be able to promote for me so I'm gonna whack on my other subs..
Anyway, mum and sis were back from Thailand last night and my dad came to Singapore also. So last night was the RARE opportunity whereby ALL the 6 of us were around! so cool! We went out for dinner and crapped a lot.. Dad talked abt his hunting trip in the morning, kor as usual abt his OCS life and blah blah... Again, my CHEEKY kor took out Tino's photo to show everyone. Sis said he looked quite ok but dad say he looks like coolie or bondan i cannot remember.. but it's not something nice lah! haha.. then i say in dad's eyes, ONLY his two sons are the most handsome la! haha... But we really had lotsa fun! =)
Then we sent kor back to his camp. Such a posh place man.. Was thinking if we'd see Chris Lim or what but nv lah. gee.. Kor's commission is on the 4th.. So I'll be missing edge.. Someone record the service for me! haha... =)
Beng Kiat and Jo watching "Pirates" tonight.. dunno if i should go.. firstly, i MIGHT have to study. Secondly, I'm kinda sian diao over this show cos everyone has watched it liao! grr.. But i dun mind watching Turn Left Turn Right again! haha.. Oh ya! I bought another of Jimmy's Bk- Something about love. But i like the Chinese Title better, ni men wo men ta men (You Us Them).
kk... this entry is not getting anywhere cos there's practically nothing in my mind now.
Oh ya.. LASTLY, SORRY ELVIN! haha.. really didn't mean to bluff u last night that i was sitting behind u though i was at home! haha.. kk.. understand that u're pastoral and stuff. So forgive me lah! hee.. =)
OKAY! I think i prefer a nap before proceeding to wherever i'm yet to decide to study. =)

Lalalala.. Came back half an hour ago from town. Ok.. this is really ridiculous but kinda fun and interesting no matter what.
The edge was as usual fun and highly annointed. Apparently, everyone's rather high after Sentosa and it was such a spectacular sight seeing EVERYONE jumping when worshiping~!Cool! haha.. love to be on duty with Isa. We have the mo4 qi4 to jump together! =)
k.. after edge, i went town to meet my elder bro for dinner.. other than the main reason that i really wanna see him, i was broke and needed a treat! haha.. however, kor has ulterior motives also! He planned for me to meet his OCS mate. ok... it's either he worries for me that i might not get married or for his friend. Anyway, it was a rather pleasent session.
Kor's OCS mate is from hongkong lah.. Very young though. 19yrs. His name is Tino. Ok.. this must mention for sure. He looks like Chen Guan Xi, edison!! haha.. Kinda gentlemanly also. Dunno whether to say innocently cute but still need to get to know him better before i can comment. Talked to him quite a lot during the one hr. Considered quite ok cos at least we dun run out of topics really frequent. =) kk.. I shall get my mind off this. hee...
Anyway, think too much abt this kinda things is not good. It;s the trap of the devil!! haha.. i told my sis abt today's session and her first question was "Is he a Christian?" haha.. though sound old fashion but it's very important for us i guess.. ok. gotta stop hubbing on this topic. Ultra unhealthy.
Tomorrow on duty again. 3rd time in a wk.. BUT it's always good to serve the Lord. wonder who's the worship leader. =)
kk... shall end here.. mum and sis coming back from Thailand tmr. Heard that mum bought MANY earings! haha.. recently have this great affection for earings. =)
Alright... Good night, world..

Got this off my sis's blog. So cool~! You can really read the whole chunk without problem!
Aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at an Elingsh uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoetnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer is at the rghit pclae. The rset can be a toatl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit porbelm. Tihs is bcuseae we do not raed ervey lteter by it slef but the wrod as a wlohe
// posted by Eunice @ 10:14 AM
Alright back to topic.....
I felt so liberated. Many things have been happening and i'm glad things are improving... I cried in front of Becx... really couldn't take it anymore then cos she's my very good fren and she's unhappy abt me too.. dunno how's it now but at least we talked it out... =) I think it's very important cos we've been friends for so long doing the same subs and in the same class...
Ok... regarding my class, i told becx.. I like all of them a lot.
Carol is always so cute. Always saying, "Lixin, got miss me or not?" although i just saw her the previous period.
Then got Peiqing, the touch rug girl who BURPS louder than a guy!
Shanny, really feminine man.. she has a LARGE collection of bottoms... denims...
Charlene, always blur blur one but also cute lah...
Cheryl, bubbly but maybe we still need to gain more understanding lah...
Samsiah, laughs at almost everything but she teaches me lotsa Malay! i like her! haha..
then got my faithful asst. class rep, Benji. really appreciate his help a lot when i wasn't around. Would be studying econs with him! Mr lee say we must get C. yah.. from grade E to C. bleahx.
Then *drums roll* My Pillar of Support and someone who trusts me lots, SITING!! I've known her since 2nd day of sch in ACJC.. We joined netball together in AC and SA, went to appeal for NJ and didn't get in, came to SA together, ended up in the same class then same PW grp, have the same passion and zest for netball and sports, christians and she's very frank with me when she feels that i'm in wrong or what.. I treasure her a lot. I thank God for her! =)


Sulinn told me that i shouldn't lose faith then.. Cos God wouldn't want to see us in pain... He would certainly place some special ones to help me tide over the situation. Indeed, other than siting, there's also Lin Wei.. She's my primary sch fren.. we're always the tallest in class last time so always stand behind. Had so much fun then.. Now, we suddenly started seeing each other EVERY morning in the bus no matter what time we exit the house. We talked a lot and really misses those days... She'll often drop a note for me... very encouraging friend.


Of course, there's also Sulinn. We don't usually talk to each other though i've been in VFC for nearly 4 yrs.. Somehow, there was just this wall? I was scared of her and for her, she sees too much of herself in me and it was difficult to talk i believe.. It was really God's timing that i sat beside her last sunday service and she prayed for me... prophetically.. and i really broke down. She said leave the battle to God... He'll settle it... Then I shared with her abt what happened and was surprised to realise that she went the exact same thing when she was in JC... she said it's actually quite helpless of her as she wasn't able to tell me what was going to happen if i do this or that... It's timely that we only talked more deeply after yrs.. When she msged me, i even had to msg back to ask, "who's this?" haha.. she also had to ask qiuyi for my number. hee..
Another person is my OU XIANG, elvin!! *applause*. Very encouraging friend as well.. spiritual also! Like what i mentioned in my past entries, there're just pple around and u just dunno their presence until some events. And friendship is established! It's just God's divine timing. It's amazing and beautiful. All my friendships are planned pre-hand by God. Knowing elvin better is a blessing. Sometimes, U really need Godly friends to give godly advices or even just prayers...
Of course there're also other pple who made a difference in my life. Such as, Sharon, Shirley, Auntie Sue, my sis,... I learnt a lot from them... Not forgetting esther foong and qiuxia who are my kai xin guo. They brought much joy for me! haha.. though sometimes cannot tahan esther's craziness or qiuxia's blur-ness.. hee...
No matter what, I just want to say "THANK YOU" from my heart. =)

Thank you, Sulinn.


Thank you, elvin.


Thank you, esther.


Thank you, God....
....for You really NEVER fails...

My hamsters, Rusty and Frosty, died together... tragically...


I've watched Turn Left Turn Right (A chance of Sunshine). It's so nice!! Surprisingly, it's not VERY romantic but VERY funny!! Was laughing so hard throughout the show but there were still touching moments of course. The group of audience i watched with yesterday were very engaged in the movie. There's lotsa sound effect by the crowd when the leads just keep "missing" each other... kinda funny listening to those actually. =) Oh ya... I watched it with esther, clara, qiuxia and jessie lah. all girls. Totally immerged into the show man.. haha...
Some said that the story line is very ridiculous but i seriously believe that maybe u have been meeting the someone very frequently. The "sorry wrong number" person over the phone, the one who took the escalator upwards when u were going down or someone whose feet u've stepped on when trying to get to ur seat in a cinema. It's just the timing. One day sure will meet again. But u won't even know that actually, u all have met for so many times! hmm...
(p/s: I can't write too much abt the story lah... Later elvin or others kill me for leaking it out... He tried to strangle me when i threatened to tell him the ending!! haha... ELVIN!! BRIBE ME BY TREATING ME TO THE MOVIE AGAIN!!! haha...)
kk... today is already the fourth day of the NTU workshop. Have to go to Chinatown later to do a short video or photo article.. will be rushing from NUH lah..


10am- Physio
11am- Doc's review
12pm- Interview and video producing @ Chinatown
7pm- Prophetic service for YOUTH!! so excited over it.. heard they are going to have prophets on each video-linked sites. cool... wonder who would be prayed for sia... =)


Oh ya! I forgot to mentioned abt family dinner last night! My mum and kor came back! so we went to sakae for dinner. Mum left early cos she had some customers to meet... but my siblings and i stayed to chit chat lah. I miss my kor so much! He's very very seh one! haha.. then he told us abt his Brunei trip. It sounded cool! =) Yesterday was also my parent's anniversary... 7-8-9-10. Married in 1978, 10th Sept. But too bad lah.. my dad was too busy.. he didn't come. Still in msia. but nvm.. i still love all of them!! haha... Dad planning to have the whole family go on holidays this year end. Frankly speaking, our family really haven't gone on a holiday together. normally half half with different combination. so kinda excited. Dad was thinking of Japan but my siblings and i just wanted somewhere nearer and exotic.. Cheaper also lah. 6 of us in total leh! It's the get together that's most important mah... =)
kk... gotta start preparing liao... long day ahead!
tata!

haven't blogged for few days.
Many things happened this wk and really felt very drained. but God is faithful. He promised that He'd always be there and he did. Love ya, God! =)


*typed a whole chunk of things but felt that there's no use mentioning them again so deleted.*


I mentioned in my previous entry that i miss my brother's smile... indeed, I really do. Was looking through some pics and realised that it's been so long since i see those kinda smile.. So many things happened... He's totally obsessed... I hope he can get out of it. i hope he can resume the way he is. When he was playing with qiuyi's dog, milo, last night, i thought i saw John when he was young.. those days when we'd play with jun jun and my plump plump brother will hug her so tightly. So lovable. He was very innocent and cute. I like him a lot last time though i nv tell him. We always fight of course but which siblings don't? He was the one who brought me into the jungle to cycle and play in the mud. I can still vividly hear my mum's screams, "don't run around! maid just mopped the floor!" We always get sick together and my parents will be so busy. When my parents quarrel, we'll always hide in the same room. I really don't ask for a very intimate relationship with John like having him tell me his secrets or what but i just want him to regain his joy. I'm very sure that's what my sis wants too... There's just a tall wall between him and us now... We really dunno what is he thinking or what he says is true or not... On Sat, i saw him when i was gng home from elvin's. he flung his arm at me when i was trying to talk to him.. I was utterly shocked. But I told myself that i cannot flare up on him.. so i kept quiet... elvin was msging me then but i was totally in no mood to reply. So told him that i was very tired and gng to sleep soon. I cried for near 30 min in my room.. he didn't care.. he stayed in his room.. Doors as usual, shut tightly. In his own world. I was so tired of things that i really wanted to give up.
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However, as i said, God is faithful. Sunday's sermon was very good... worship was good... I felt relieved. I knew that i've forsaken my first love... i've lost focus as i had been too consumed by all these things that i just keep burdening myself.. Sch work, pple relationship, my bro, my parents and disappointment in pple... All i need actually, is to Remember, Repent and Return... When i went down for altar call, i just let myself cry... maybe i've tried too hard to please everyone that i've lost my joy. Maybe due to the things that others did, i've lost my ability to love others once again... But i just let it all out. I thought i saw a very fatherly figure ran up to me and embraced me fully... The prodigal son's story... HE nv gave up on me even when i even thought he's not around anymore... God is faithful. He is love, peace and joy.
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Regarding my bro, I trust that God is going to do something... it may be through the hard way to make him realise or wake up.. Maybe i shouldn't plead for God's mercy on him and be lenient on my bro anymore... i might just be hindering God's work.. However, i'd of course be still praying for Joy in my bro! =) It's really good to have a God to depend on when the world seems so dark... amen..
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He told her that he likes her and she's the one for him. Although she did like him then but she's just tired. She wants to get married but she's scared of being in love. She should just marry someone 10yrs older and be loved. She's selfish but she'd rather have it that way. She doesn't want to take any risk.
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NTU mass comm workshop is fun. Today is the first day. 4 more days to go! Food is VERY good. Got to know more pple. All having the same level or even more interest for Chinese.. Actually, i dun mind doing journalism next time... But i'd want to write a bk next time. haha... Ms Han wanted to compile all my essays when i was sec 4 to publish a bk! i dun think i had the capacity then lah. or now! Anyway, while waiting and during the lectures, i wrote 5poems.. hee... =)
That's all.. having terrible tummy upset. Gonna go out for dinner with my bro then study...

Hi pple. I'm in sch right now, having NOTHING to do... Don't even know why i'm in sch for when today being the last day of the term, there'd only be half day of sch and my first half of the day is FREE PERIODS. Came to sch thinking that there's gonna be chapel or assembly. Apparently, they have it cancelled without informing us before hand. Maybe they anticipated that many will not come... So now, I'm just waiting for time to PASSSSSS..... 1 hr more. I can only leave at 10:45am... Argh. I'm so bored. I've tried watching "Bent it like Beckham" in the MRL terminal with samsiah but they say only ONE to a station. Duh. So we went to cafe and ATE AGAIN. Samsiah always complain that at the rate i eat and always chewing food, my jaw willdrop one day. hehez... it's not exactly my fault what... At least now i'm choosing fruits over nuts and sweets. =) BUT there's really nothing to do in sch lah.
Alvyn just told me that i'm gonna be the spokeman for the house on College Open house. I'm still not quite sure what i'm suppose to do but if i'm not wrong, should be TALKING to the Sec4s who visit lah. Hopefully my dao-ness will not scare pple away. hehez...
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Okay. Guess what time my whole family knock out last night?! 9pm~!! haha.. ok.. we started eating dinner at 7+pm then watch tv in the living room. Then slowly, my sis fell asleep on the sofa then my bro went to his room and the next sec i knew, I also fell asleep on the sofa!! haha... Then at 8:40pm, we all woke up, clear the plates and decided to SLEEP!! haha.. it's record time loh! 9pm leh!! Normally, we'd only sleep around 11pm or later. Esp this week, all of us very busy with work. I even slept at 1am on Wed. BUT that's normal because every wednesday is my TV night. Love the show Lavender~! But it was a good rest lah. Needed it quite badly. =)
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10 more minutes to go before meeting the class to go for 45min of econs tutorial. I'm running outta things to type. Actually no lah. Have a lot but just dunno where to start. bah.
I miss waiyin and pple.
I miss weili and esther and jing jun.
I miss Layming and phoebe.
I miss my Dad.
I miss my grandmother.
I miss my childhood (cancelling out all the beatings and scoldings i had from my mum when i misbehave).
I miss my elder bro.
I miss John's smile.
I miss Boon Tik and all my msia frens (maybe should sneak out to go KL with them again~!).
I miss Sharon.
I miss Joy.
I miss netball.
I miss painting.
I miss swimming.
I miss watching fire flies.
I miss the sea.
I missed someone.
I miss cycling.
I miss playing in the mud with my siblings.
I miss my primary sch uniform.
I miss all my free time.
I miss myself....
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time to go. =)

It's really good to have a maid at home. When you reach home, the house is clean and everything is neat. After you settle down, she brings u soup or drinks. Then the house is filled with this nice aroma of her cooking. I haven't eaten home cook food for near 6mths! as many can guess, MY MAID IS BACK! haha... Another thing that i like is I can speak Malay to her. I just like speaking in malay.. though my malay C.M.I.

Anyway, today is really a foul day but i'm feeling very much better now. Went for a jog illegally. Ran 2km and was already panting like wat... Rusting liao.. Ok.. I'm still not suppose to run cos of my shoulder but i'm just so vexed that i need let those air out.. And it feels really good to be in the sun once again. Really am thankful that God nv fails... =)
Actually my minor "depression" started when i saw my fren writing "lixin sux" in my PDA. Of course, I didn't confront her or what but laugh it off. However, in my heart i was thinking, is there anything i do wrong or act that cause her to write those kinda thing? I mean she's my fren and now I'm just wondering if she really is my fren anymore. But.. nvm... then the "slimy" guy incident. duh.
Okay.. Today was the extreme. Since pple think that it's JUST a surgery, why dun they think that it's JUST a sweater?! HELLO!! *knock head* IT'S a S.W.E.A.T.E.R. and it's main function is to keep warm. alright.. if u're clueless, I have this ACJC sweater that my AC classmates gave me after i left ACJC. Since it has been pouring of days and the weather IS cold, of course i'd wear something to keep warm and of course, a sweater! Why do they have to make such a big fuss over it?! At first, when Sadaf pulled me aside and told me that her class and others were asking why am i wearing an ACJC sweater in SAJC and why i went back to ACJC on teachers' day(dun even know how they got to know!), I was having this BIG question mark in my mind. "why cannot?" I asked... I've nv treated that sweater as something to signify anything. seriously. and, why those who went back to their first 3mths JC were not confronted? blehx.
The ultimate was when someone called me "poser" when i walked pass. Koaz.. I was furious but i held back. Sneaked out of sch real early. Was tearing when i walked from the gallery to the gate. STUPID. Shouldn't have sia!

Met elvin and quiyi for lunch. They left real early and i went to a bookshop and read MANY children story bks.. picture bks to be specific.. Then took a bus to NUH for physio. Apparently I was still in a daze. I missed the stop twice. and changed bus twice just to get back... Then came home at 4+pm and sneaked out to jog.
However, I'm definitely feeling much better. Esp when came home with near everyone in the family at home... =) I really thank God. He was the one who protected and sustained me through out... Cos i was nearly knocked down by a lorry and a car... I just keep day dreaming. very dangerous. erm.. and i nearly fell... okok... I'm VERY clumsy. look at all the scars on my legs lah. I'm like a "walking wound" (quoting Sharon).
Ok.. there's still so many things to do and i really need MORE JOY and STRENGTH... Keep me in prayers can? Thank you, all. =)

"wo zhi dao you xie shi hou wo de xin qing xiang tian qi.... ye zhi dao ni hui yuan liang wo de hai zi qi... yi tong hui xiang wo men de ceng jing... gan xie ni rang wo zai ai zhong cheng zhang... wo da ying wo hui ai ni zhi dao zui hou yi kou hu xi....."
Really hate hospitals... today went for physio alone in NUH... I dun like the dim and echoing corridors.... nor the stale smell in the air... nor the plain coloured walls... nor the sickly faces that i see everywhere.... it's just a place that i can only link it with death and sufferings... period.
Anyway, I'm kinda tired being so cheer-y everyday. It's too energy draining.... Many said that whenever i dun smile even when i'm day-dreaming, i look very dao and fierce... very unapproachable... they say i should smile more and i did and i dun like. Who cares if frowning will use more muscles... can tone up the face is not bad after all what... innocence versus reality. I miss those days when i can just play in the mud without being bothered by what others would think or those days where a laugh is really true from the heart. Wrote an essay on "Hypocrisy and the "staged" play" in Chinese of course, and teacher said that it's too "grey" and negative and rejected it. So i wrote another one on "life is like a picture" very positive and erm.. "bright". She likes it. duh. (*knock head* HELLO TAN LI XIN!! WHAT ARE YOU DOING!?) man.. when tiredness or weariness overwhelm one... Grr... I need a get-a-way.

alright pple, get ready.
I... *drums roll* did hmwk from 1+pm until 8+pm for straight 7hrs!! *applause* so fulfilled sia. Though didn't exactly finished a lot but still i tried my best! Finished a Chinese essay, a GSC compre, copied all the geog notes which i missed when i was absent for 2mths and read some GP politics notes. Tedious sia...
Elvin came over at 2+pm after his lessons to visit me. He "HELPED" me with my GP essay. SO NICE of him!! haha... actually he came for his english breakfast latte which he has been craving for since last night! No matter what, still wanna thank him for appearing. I was sooooo sleepy cos slept at 1+am last night and woke up at 8am to continue doing the stupid, time wasting, energy straining PW. Stinks... Elvin's appearance woke me up a little lah. I think he's very tired too cos he slept around the time i slept too and woke up at 6:45am. haha... hey elvin, it's not THAT bad. At least u dun have to go thru it EVERYDAY... Cheerio! ^-^

Anyway, during my "stay" in westmall coffeebean today, I got to know this girl from NUS, Arts Fac, First Year, also in campus crusade and studying Eng. Her name is eunice. The way we starting conversing was really amazing... As everyone knows, westmall;s coffeebean is like a freezer. Apparently, both of us were wearing shorts and were freezing in there... So after 5hrs of sitting next to each other without noticing, we said "so cold" at the same time and made eye contact! haha.. then started talking. Got to know that her brother's DGL is also elvin's DGL and she knows Chris Lim! I bet elvin will meet her one day. Same fac, some module, same year, same campus crusade! hehez... Invited her for the Joshua21 Reloaded but unfortunately, she had to send someone off at the airport that night. But we exchanged HP numbers. She named me, "esther.coffeebean.tan" and i named her in my phone bk, "eunice.coffeebean.lim" haha... I like her! Amazing how friendships can be established ya?!

Had been hanging out with elvin and pple quite a lot nowadays. Talked to elvin a lot too. Got to know him better also! Maybe due to the BBQ committee and Interview with the Devil lah. Seriously, in my memory, other than 3yrs ago i cried in front of him in a MRT, I dun remember talking to him or mixing with him until recently. Just like he never really took notice of me. So we can call quits! haha... Again, I have to say the way and time God bridges pple also very interesting. =) Exactly how i got to know Chris and became such good frens with him when we aren't in the same region nor had any common frens in the beginning. haha.. =)
kk.. i have to rest early today cos have been lacking sleep these few days... moreover, tomorrow got sch. fortunately, i'd be sneaking out early again for physio at NUH... actually i really hate hospitals.. it's a place where i always think people who goes in nv come out alive... maybe becos i lost my grandma in the hospital and i loved her a lot... remembering those days when i'd always hide in her place which is one street away from my house after mum;s beatings... She always bring me around in her tricycle... from me always sitting in the tricycle until i'm in charge of pushing from the back with grandma on the tricycle... I miss her but i know she's with God in heaven... My grandfather also suffered a lot in the hospital... He doted me a lot also.... As i'm the only one who wasn't afraid of him despite his face being really stern and fierce, i always force him to buy me "illegal" food i.e food not permitted by mum. He always call me "xiao niu mei" cos i was born in the year of cow. I have a feeling he doesn't even know my name is lixin... He died of lung cancer... from hair that i always play with when i was young cos there were lots and curly until bald cos of the therapy and medicine... I miss him too...
kk... getting real emotional... Miss my dad and mum too....
listening to sun yan zi's "bu neng he ni yi qi"

Reached home only at around 11:40pm... Rushing PW at Siting's house since 2:30pm... I really H.A.T.E PW.. but seriously, who likes it anyway.... it's just endless minutes (meeting notes), endless stacks of reading on topic that i totally do not comprehen and endless nights before the computer trying to chim-alise my eng. Argh.
Anyway, we took a break at around 8pm and head down to HV to makan. Ate at ThaiExpress. Apparenly, it should be called ThaiSlowPok(quoting siting) instead. we waited for near an hr before our food is served! Then being irritated(AGAIN), we started giving attitude. I think we asked the manager 3 times why aren't our food here yet and other waiters as well.. Then when they finally served, i told the manager, "Don't u think u should compliment us with something? We waited near an hour! This is ThaiEXPRESS." Siting say my face was extremely "dao" when i said that... initially, 3 of us have black-listed it BUT when they really gave us desserts for free, we took it off~~!! hahaha.. Too bad elvin wasn't that smart then to do the same. He waited for 1hr+ and in the end, didn't even get the food he ordered. =P (elvin, learn from me la!)
kk... it's actually 1+am now... was trying my luck to see if Sharon would be online but she's not! -sob- nvm...
pple! I changed my blog skin FINALLY! still exploring though.. but it's kinda fun! I like blue. =)
Tmr's gonna be a loooooong day... have lotsa hmwk to complete cos SAJC's inhumane teachers have NO compassion towards pple like me who missed sch for near 2mths! but nvm la. May God strengthens me!
Count down to promos: 30days.
Good night, world.

this entry is dedicated to ELVIN!
My ou xiang, pls take care~!!

man.. it's now 11:30pm.. very very tired.. gonna turn in in a jiffy...
Went back to RV and ACJC today... When my mum drove me past RV's building before going, man... i was touched... dunno why but my nose just went sour loh.. i'd say, I had many memories in RV.. hehez.. like my first bf, my different culture shocks, netball, track and field, stage performances, debate, house cap,... haha... though it's a communist sch aka really chee-na, i enjoyed myself! erm.. other than the missy uniform lah. Saw quite a number of teachers... All aged... or maybe i AGED! haha... Saw the RV senior, Zhi Rong, whom i met at netball centre then at NUS first day of sch at Science fac, then today in RV. haha.. really very awkward as in the first time we met. I was shouting after him... haha.. shall not elaborate. You all sure say i very stupid... =(
ANyway, then i proceeded to ACJC with rebecca to visit my form teacher and geog tutor. Made them keychains using the shrinking paper... They very pitiful... dun have half day like normal schs or full day for pple like me who erm.. ponned again. So all of them stuck in sch STUDYING. When i was at the gate, i saw my ex-GP teacher! haha.. she say i looked different. bet she meant fatter cos my senior say i "fa fu"!!! Grr... that's the result of not exercising for near 3 mths. Ok.. then saw mahaini and mrs yap while walking up the staircase. both are my econs tutors.. VERY STRICT and erm... a bit "short-circuited".. hee..
Finally saw Ms Leow but she's in class.. so didn't get to talk to her much. but she looked more stressed up.. heard that the new 1AA2 isn't as cooperative and nice as the first 3 mths one.. sad for her man... she did admit that she misses the old class... i miss my 1st 3mth class too...
Anyway, then went geog rm to look for Mr Lynn. Yup he's in lesson too.. so just passed him the keychain and left.. he's still very impressed by a phrase i said when he suaned me last time. "self-acceptance and inner healing".. hahaha!
Then went back Westmall to meet elvin (you wanted to see ur name ya?) to go elim. Crapped throughout the whole journey. i mean.. nothing new cos when we talked we always crap. even when he asked me if there's anything going on between Chris and i, i was also laughing away. Sorry la elvin, just couldn't help it. maybe one day if i see the serious side of u, i'll treat u nicer! =) BUT, there's really nothing going on k? very close frens. Have been dat close for more than 1+yrs. It's only because u nv took notice of us hanging out together tht's why u feel that we are close now. yup. =) can ask others lah. =)
kk... i need sleep. have fun for those who are still solving the questions i gave...
nitez, world! =)

regarding today's class fellowship, we didn't managed to really do the whole thing cos after discussing with a few, we feel that shouldn't rush.. might be too overwhelming for them.. so we introduced and explained to them what class fellowship is abt and what we'd do. Will officially launch it later.. Heard from Cheryl that Benji is very uncomfortable everytime during chapel and any christian thingy. Need to pray for him..
I felt so fulfilled and accomplished! I managed to revive through my 3 long days in a wk! haha... Monday until 4pm, tuesday until 5pm and today until 4pm! However, today was even more hectic cos i did my PW at harbourfront until 8pm! So tired.... BUT i'm not going to sch tmr so that makes up everything man!! gonna sleep in until 8+pm then go RVHS.. Meeting Belle and pple at 10am at RV bustop. There're some pple whom i long to meet tmr. Hopefully they turn up lah. =)
Then maybe chit chat or what with everyone and waste time until 3+pm to go ACJC... Want to visit Ms Leow and pple... heard from rahmat and waiyin that things are very different liao.. cos the 2nd in-takers keep bullying madam and she's so stressed up. Hopefully, I'm allowed to go her class tmr to pass her a gift... I miss them! =')
Anyway, met up with timothy Ho just now. He's having flu and the whole table top is covered by his tissues papers! eeiii!! He's still as messy like last time and think put on weight AGAIN! He's helping me with my project lah. All the media stuff.. killing me sia! =) i'm really tired of it already... all my time consumed by this PW...
Ok.. gtg liao.. just realised elvin has a blog. very spiritual one. He's leading worship tmr and i'm doing back up. ELVIN, DUN TAKE REVENGE K? hehez...
SHARON IS ONLINE!!! =)

okok.. no surprises. I'm home AGAIN.. i think this habit of getting out of sch earlier is not very good.. esp with the assistance of teachers.. or should i say collaboration? i seriously feel that they are spoiling me... Anyway, i was outta sch before 9:30am, after attending double period econs lecture. They really need to revise the time table. Today i only have econs, PE and chinese and i have to stay in sch until 2:10pm. Yesterday was worse!! 7 free periods from 10am to 2:50pm... and still, i have to stay until 5pm due to geog tutorial. i think it's very exhausting cos u have nothing to do other than staring at your fren and she stare back. ok maybe did some hmwk too lah. BUT i was stuck in SCHOOL. =(

Anyway, i think i really should change my attitude... I should start liking school. I dun mind doing hmwk or studying but sch is really dreadful sometimes... However, I was thinking these few days, maybe i should try thinking what i could do to enjoy sch a bit more.. then the Class Fellowship thingy just flashed across. Then during Christians Chapel on monday morning, the teacher told us that we're in SAJC for a purpose be it we like the sch or not... It just struck me.. I really dun like SAJC... It has nv crossed my mind that i'd end up here... Term two, was busy with training and competition and didn't care much.. until after the season, realised that i can't bring myself to like the sch...

When approached by ACJC coach to go back AC after June holidays, I was rather excited... cos not only would I be playing with a top team and be with my 1st 3mth frens, i enjoyed all the chapels and Christian fellowship stuff.. However, maybe it's God's will.. I found out that I'm injured.. rather seriously... The whole plan was screwed immediately... i mean who would want to go thru all the paper works to get an injured player over?

Having to go thru a surgery and passing the gates of hell wasn't that fun actually.. come to think of it, it was a very scary experience... Pain, fear and loneliness.. I was glad God was there with me thruout... =) But this also mark a long temporary break from sports.. which means, i'm CCA-less and wouldn't be able to do something i enjoyed all these while had put in a great deal of hardwork in... It wasn't easy... (silly! why am i tearing!) there was also this break down of relationship for me in the team.. I really didn't know some of them disliked me.. Dying for me get out... Only the 2nd intakers understood my plight... and unfortunately, the 3 of us were all the main players and we aren't that popular amongst the others... Different aim and vision for the team... We respect the game a lot but apparently, they feel that we are there to compete with them.. Maybe coach shouldn't have asked us to teach the defenders or even said things like, "Try attack since i dun have anything to teach u all abt defence liao." I miss playing competitive netball... But things are very different now. Coach wanna see me.. He wants to know when i'd be back.. Seriously, i WANT to play next yr's season... Not totally for the team but for myself and my partner, Sadaf.. She doesn't really have fun time with the team either.. She's approached by RJC... BUT, not sure abt my condition. =S

Alright, back to topic....

So i'm stucked in SAJC... I'm really full of regrets whenever Pam and Elvin call me a "loser" cos i left ACJC for supposedly NJC but ended up... Have been telling myself I HAVE to like the sch cos God placed me here... Now, i'm slowly to understand that it's not the school i have to like... It's the people in the sch that i have to develop compassion for... Serving in ministry in church is no big deal UNLESS we fulfill our destiny and understand our cause on this Earth... and that is to make disciples of God... I really hope Class Fellowship is gonna create an impact in their lives... My frens... esp, 1 of the contacts in my Daniel's Prayer... I mustn't be lazy anymore, thinking that "Aiya... next time lah..", It's scary upon thinking what if, they just die the next moment... *-* Sometimes, I can't even be sure myself if i'd go heaven if i die now... what do i have to show God? my achievements? for what? I can't even see the angels cheering and dancing for me because i did well on Earth, fulfilling my destiny of bring more people to Christ... That's my focus now.. to know God better and to draw closer to Him... Seeing my frens join me in the family of God. Amen. =)

I miss Joy, I miss Sharon!!
Man.. Joy would be gone for near a year and Sharon, until Dec. Hai~!!!
Anyway, kinda excited cos my class gonna have class fellowship! We're launching it this Thursday at M.E period. Gonna start on a small scale first.. Going to have a short worship then testimonies from some Christian classmates while makaning then prayer needs. I believe God's gonna ROCK! YEAH! Everyone, pls keep this event in prayers. Gonna make it permenant if possible next time! Pray for openess of pple as well as His spirit and strength be upon the Christians in my class. =)
Friday is teachers' day celebration. I'm not going to sch for sure. Dun wanna attend ACERS(sp?). Think i'd be going back to ACJC to visit Ms Leow and teachers. Miss them so much! =) Not much use going back RV cos most of my teachers are no longer around. Such as, Julie Quah, Ms Koh, Ms Han,... Teo Lip Guan also retiring. Mdm Teo... like forever won't retire. She thought Jaclyn, Eric and sharon before somemore! AMAZING.
kk.. getting sleepy... will blog again next time. =)

Actually, i blogged on tuesday but aparently, it was not saved. anyways, just an update of what has been happening since the last time i blogged which is like... 1 wk plus ago!!
14th Aug (Thurs)
- Youth worship ministry meeting

15th Aug (Fri)
- Watch "Home Run" in the late morning with elvin and shirley
- Went to Elim church early for rehearsal cos was on duty
- The Edge (took of my sling before i sang on stage cos it'd be too striking...)

16th Aug (Sat)
- Learning Journey at the Naval BAse where many of my classmates were inspired to join navy. =P
- Did PW for a while with grp then went home.
- Went Auntie Sue's house for Divisional Mission meeting. (it was quite fun cos everyone really did the research on Bhutan and was very expressive upon presentation! However, that country is really "hard"... Keep her in prayer pple.. )
- Went SIS for the Hillsongs concert with Chris, Sharon, Samuel, Jason, Sulinn, esther, phin, Darryl and Aaron. (It was SOOOOOO interesting! They did "agnus dei" really wonderfully!! Many pple... Hope edge could attract this amt of pple one day. AMEN! =) )

17th Aug (Sun)
- Ran after the church bus with my siblings cos we were late. Fortunately managed to caught it. =)
- Morning Service. (sat with Sharon. =) )
- Went to Jurong Point to "beg" pple to do surveys... Need it for my PW. (Most of them are so lazy and inconsiderate! I got scolded quite a few times cos they dun wanna help. Then when answering those "yes or no" questions, upon seeing "If yes, why" they all changed their answers to NO!! Gr...)
- Went to Ponderosa at Marina Square with my siblings to celebrate my younger brother, John's bday. He's 16 liao!! =) (Really ate A LOT! -burp-)
- It's ESTHER FOONG's BDAY!

18th Aug (Mon)
- Went to school but left at 10 plus AGAIN! I just DUN WANT to go for GP lessons... hopefully, i'll start liking the teacher soon... maybe i should start getting better grades for it also. =P)
- Went to airport to send Joy and the israel team off... (man.. i'm missing her a lot now!-sob-)

19th Aug (Tues)
- Didn't go school in the morning. Went for physio. Torture sia...
- Watched "Singapore's Brainiest Kid" (Apparently, i'm definitely not that smart.. can't answer most of the questions other than the math ones..)

20th Aug (Wed)
- Went to school (left early AGAIN)
- Went physio and suffered AGAIN
- Gave tuition (the kid was so attitude! even threatened to fall asleep!)
- It's my BROTHER'S BIRTHDAY!

21st Aug (Thurs)
- Went physio
- Went home to rush econs essay
- Went sch for JJ lin's concert (interviewed him cos need to write an article. He's so boyish. However, his voice was really not bad. Very talented.)
- Went sharon's house for farewell cum 21st bday party. (She only invited closer frens.. i was the only younger youth there. Thank God everyone was friendly lah! =) Had fun tho. )


22nd Aug (Fri)
- Went school and attended most of the lessons. (-applause-)
- Left school early again for physio in the afternoon.
- Met up with my net members i.e Joel and Ethan for kopi at westmall coffee bean. (wrote a card for Sharon. It was a very fruitful meeting as we got to know each other better and we crapped a lot! So much suaning! Next time must make sure eric comes too! )

Regarding today, i shall reserve for later... All i can say is sending off two of my closest friend in church in a wk doesn't feel that good after all... I'm missing Sharon and Joy already... ='(

ALright pple, I didn't go to sch today cos i studied for econs test last night and ACCIDENTALLY overslept this morning... pai seh.. Then i wanna rush down but MR lee ask me to stay home since i'm still on MC. He'd give me the retest next time. =)

I went HarbourFront with my mum for lunch today after meeting my PW for discussion at PSA starbucks. On our way home, mum missed a turn and we ended up at pasir panjang road, then the wholesale centre then west coast park then NUS then clementi then finally home... Wah... travelled to many places sia... but we had fun lah.. cos we were like competiting with the weather cos it was threatening to rain any moment and what makes it worse was us going the wrong way. hee...
Anyway, when i reached home, I was just laying down on my bed reading magazine, enjoying the coolness of the weather without knowing that the sleeping bug was eating into me. hehez.. the next sec, I was soundly asleep. Slept for 1hr plus!! man.. so comfy! I really need lotsa rest man..

Oh ya! I resumed sch on monday. Apparently, I cannot get use to waking up early and lasting thru the whole day of lessons. Monday, I left sch at 10+am when lessons should end at 5pm. Tuesday i managed to last thru the whole day but had 3+ hrs of free period and getting a cracking headache by the end of the day. =p Today, gee.... never even go sch. Tomorrow, not going to sch again cos I'm having Physio Therapy. Friday, dunno yet...

With regard to the previous entry in my OD, marcus retaliated rather harshly but i'm not interested in posting it here again. He'd just spoil my page. hee... anyway, I think i really shouldn't have defended myself in the first place, hence giving him and opportunity to be mean to me once again. So this time round, i'm just gonna keep quiet. No use talking to pple who doesn't have ANY sympathy or compassion.
I think my house mistress must have heard something. She msged me saying that i dun have to bother abt what others say. She'd talk to me when i go back and in the meantime, i just have to rest and recover fast and catch up with sch work. Thank God for understanding teachers. =)
kk... gonna makan dinner liao. laterz~