HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME!! ~* =)

I'm very encouraged and comforted today... because of DESMOND NG!!! haha... told him i'll dedicate an entry to him so here goes!!
DESMOND, THIS IS FOR U!! =)
This desmond ah... knew him when he was Pri6. Just wanna say he has really matured and grew these few years to someone more open, happy and sensible.. I'm very happy and comforted by his change... =) God is really great. He is one who changes lives... Amen.

I really need to stop for a moment to ponder what am I doing with my life.. I felt so messed up recently and i just don't have the time (this is an excuse for i'm too lazy) and allow myself to be consumed by many other things... I felt so dry... I felt so away from Him... and He is my father... I felt so "choked" by dunno what.. I want to draw near. I want to hear from Him but i just don't understand why i can't. There are so many voices and i'm very very confused. I want a C.H.A.N.G.E. I need God to speak to me and i'm not giving Him the attention.. I allowed myself to lose focus and stubbornly shafting all the other emotions, feelings and thoughts to another corner though i know something needs to be done... Seriously, I'm guilty of purposely or maybe not purposely making myself so busy that I don't have time to think about God or my walk with Him. I actually felt so tired talking to God. *slap myself* But I knew this can't go on. I've fallen into this comfort zone of being a "named" christian... It became a duty and routine to a certain extent. Again, I knew this cannot go on.
God is faithful... He is gracious, merciful and forgiving...

"So come home running
His arms are open wide
His name is Jesus
He understands
He is the answer
You are looking for
So come home running
Just as you are"
He reminded me of His love MANY times these few days.. Friday's net, edge, evening service and everything..
It's time to quiet down and listen to His still and assuring voice.
He is all I need.

Went for morning prayer yesterday... It was good!! I felt God's presence so strongly... Actually i haven't even finished all the things i wanna pray for when Bro.Andrew gathered us for some prayer needs. However, it was when we were praying for pastor seaward, I keep hearing this phrase, "Catch his heartbeat. Catch My heartbeat." I was like "woah!!" Indeed, many atimes, we just dun wanna get out of out comfort zone and step out to do what we are SUPPOSE to do... Maybe not "don't want" but we tend to let laziness and this "no urgency" overwhelm us... Maybe we tend to think there's always tomorrow... but what if there isn't... I'm more and more afraid as each day passes with my dad and elder bro not receiving Christ totally... Or even other friends... There's no more time.


(taken from an email)
I had on new clothes,
New sneakers on my feet.
I was there for class on time,
Went to the back and took my seat.

Yeah, I'm moving up,
I'm already grown.
Soon I'll be graduating,
And out on my own.

I talked to some of my friends,
We were all having fun.
Said some things I shouldn't have said.
Did stuff I shouldn't have done.

I knew I was different.
I felt God touch my heart,
I knew I should set a standard,
But then I'd be set apart.

Walking to the bus,
I was not looking for strength.
I heard the car tires screeching,
But now it's too late.

I'm standing in this room,
And I can see the heavenly gate.
Oh no! I never prayed.
I thought I had time to get it straight!

An angel walked to me,
He had a book in his hand.
I knew it was the Book of Life,
When would this dream end?

I told him my name,
And he began to look.
Then he looked at me sadly and said,
Your name is not in this book.

Angel, this is a dream,
No, I can't be dead!
He closed the book and turned away,
He whispered - You cannot proceed ahead.

No...no this can't be real,
Angel, you can't turn me away.
Let me talk to God,
Maybe he'll let me stay.

He led me to the gate,
Jesus came to me.
He did not let me in but said,
Beloved what is your need?

Jesus, I cried, please,
Don't cast me away from you.
Tears ran down his face as he said,
You knew what you needed to do.

Lord, please I'm young,
I never thought I would die.
I thought I'd have plenty of time,
Death caught me by surprise.

Lord, I went to church,
Please Jesus, I believe.
He said you would not accept me,
My love you would not receive.

Lord, there were too many
hypocrites. They weren't being true.
He took a step back and asked,
What does that have to do with you?

Lord, my family claimed to be
saved, They weren't real. You know.
He said, I died for you,
Now I have to go.

I fell to my knees crying to Him,
Lord, I planned to be real tomorrow.
I couldn't make Him understand,
I had never felt such sorrow.

Then it hit me hard, I said,
Lord, where will I go?
He looked into my eyes
and said, My child you already know.

Please Jesus, I begged,
The place is so hot.
It seemed to trouble and grieve him,
He whispered, DEPART FROM ME, I KNOW YOU NOT.

Lord, you're supposed to be love,
How can you send me to damnation?
He replied, With your mouth you said you loved me,
But each day you rejected my salvation.

With that in an instant,
Day turned into night.
I never knew such torture could be,
Now too late, I know the Bible is right.

If I can tell you anything,
Hell has no age.
It is a place of torture,
Separated from God and full of rage.

You know, I thought it was funny,a joke,
But this one thing is true.
If you never accept Jesus Christ,
HELL IS WAITING FOR YOU!

Holidays pls come fast.
Another day in sch is killing me.