Have been going morning prayer for the past 4 days, consecutively. It's really comforting to see the group expanding.. When it first started in October, the only youths who went were elvin and i and we were both not frequent. Then slowly, people start joining... Esther foong and desmond. Then now, more! John, Joel, Colleen and Qiuxia! We hit the most number yesterday of 9pple.
Seriously, morning prayer is really a test of self-discipline and fighting the flesh... Many things have been happening in my life esp in my family.. Because of sch work n ministry, i wasn't able to go back msia like my siblings to give support especially to my dad who has just received salvation and is involve in a court case. I told God that since i can't go back, i'll lift up my dad in prayers and I will set apart time for morning prayer. Frankly speaking, ever since i came back from East Timor, i haven't had a good rest... Busy with Drama and now sch assignments. God is faithful no matter what. Daily, as i draw near to Him, He always comforts my heart and grant me new strength to walk on. It is inevitable that there are always problems rising up but still, He will never forsake and leave us to walk through it alone. He is a loving God. =)
Today during morning prayer, I really tried to dig deep into my heart regarding some problems but wasn't able to let go totally.. struggle sia.. but He is so gracious. =) Also, I could feel His comforting hand upon me.. Wah... Just dunno how to describe la. AWESOME. God never fails. NEVER.


Psalm 145
I will exalt you, my God the King;
I will praise your name forever and ever.
Everyday I will praise you
and extol your name forever and ever.
Great is the Lord and most worthy of praise;
his greatness no one can fathom.
One generation will commend your works to another;
they will tell of your mighty acts.
They will speak of the glorious splendor of your majesty,
and I will meditate on your wonderful works.
They will tell of the power of your awesome works,
and I will proclaim your great deeds.
They will celebrate your abundant goodness
and joyfully sing of your righteousness.
The Lord is gracious and compassionate,
slow to anger and rich in love.
The Lord is good to all;
he has compassion on all he has made.
All you have made will praise you, O Lord;
your saints will extol you.
They will tell of the glory of your kingdom
and speak of your might,
so that all men may know of your mighty acts
and the glorious splendor of your kingdom.
Your kingdom is an everlasting kingdom,
and your dominion endures through all generations.
The Lord is faithfull to all his promises
and loving towards all he has made.
The Lord upholds all those who are bowed down.
The eyes of all look to you,
and you give them their food at the proper time.
You open your hand
and satisfy the desires of every living thing.
The Lord is righteous in all his ways
and loving toward all he has made.
The Lord is near to all who call on him;
to all who call on him in truth.
He fulfills the desires of those who fear him;
he hears their cry and save them.
The Lord watches over all who love him,
and all the wicked he will destroy.
My mouth will speak in praise of the Lord.
Let every creature praise his holy name
Forever and ever.

today is 1mth and 7days past my birthday and i got a birthday present from my Sec Sch frens. We met for coffee just now after dinner.
Ok.. this group of SINCERE and NICE frens gave me a BLACK BIKINI!! They say I'm finally 18 and can officially go clubbing and do lots more. I was like diaoz!!! Esp after i put on weight recently, 2 piece swim suit is a NO NO!! Grr... told them to get shirts or blouse.. BUT STILL, I'm thankful for this grp of frens.. we knew each other for 3yrs liao. We were talking abt where to go after A's. Peiling wanna go SMU to study business.. Peiyun wanna go Australia for Hotel Management studies. Becca and I will always be in the same class.. since sec3 till now.. We are the Cheena freaks la... NUS or NTU, we'll most prob still do Chinese together.. But I might consider going NTU since they offer Chinese Mass Comm studies from 2005 onwards and because of the exchange prog i went in NTU, we are already seeded!! cool! hai~ however, no matter what, got to pass A's first... CAn't wait to get out of JC and finish A's...
I met Sharon for dinner and we chatted for near 2hrs.. man.. I'm really glad she's back... Very happy.. =) I really missed her a lot. Can't wait for the next meeting! Today had to end cos meeting my sch frens. Nvm.. She's not going away in near future at least! haha.. kk.. tired.. nose is running, ears still blocked, throat still sore but i'm still going morning prayer for sure. can't wait to be in God's presence everyday! =)

Finally, I got to watch Infernal Affairs 3. It's not bad but very tedious for the brains.. All three of us, i.e. elvin, me and derek, actually felt tired after the show cos we had to think and link it back to the other two prequels. The show was rather confusing with scenes jumping from past to present then past for many times.. But still, I like this show a lot!! Just like Derek and Elvin like Lord of the Rings and will die die watch all three episodes like that. Would want to watch the other two prequels again! =)
Anyway, I met esther foong for breakfast today. We talked a little. I shared with her something about us being unworthy and yet God stretched out His arms of encouragement, forgiveness, love, care and everything towards us.. And sometimes, we don't even appreciate it. We tend to be self-consumed and eventually, start thinking negatively or blame others or even God for not being there or what... Instead of always thinking abt self or inwardly, we should be more out-ward looking..
Today I saw a car plate with ET. Normally when i saw these two alphabets, the first words that i'll link to is Esther Tan. However, today, the first two words that came to my mind was East Timor. U might say it's because i just came back from East Timor that's why my whole mind is full of that. But seriously, how long have my name been with me? It is human and inevitable that i'd first link it to my name. This may just be a small incident but it actually struck me rather hard. I was like... woah.. This change is amazing. I mean.. I saw that i'm in this breaking process and i'm learning to see things in a different light. I like these changes... I desire to be Christ-like.. Man.. it's gonna be difficult of course, but i can do all things thru Him who strengthens me!! =)
Anyway, today was rather mild. Other than the hilarious and crazy game of Monopoly i had with Jason, Joel, Des, Jonathan, Qiuyi. It's just mad la! But fun of course. Though i wasn't feeling well...
Someone finally realised that i was actually sick!! haha.. Now he's feeling guilty cos he felt that i've sacrificed my Xia Sang Ju for him. But seriously, it was my own decision to give him my packet as Christmas present and i didn't had time to go buy again. That silly guy actually felt guilty and kept thanking me. Haiyo... anyway, I'm nice to all who are nice to me and learning how to also love pple whom i can't or have difficulties.. Frankly speaking, who are we to dislike or judge someone when we ourselves are definitely not perfect?
kk... late liao.. tmr still have to do hmwk and go egde..
Nite, world.

.:Merry Christmas:.

Today is Christmas eve. A day when family members gather and celebrate the birth of Jesus Christ. That's what i think. =)
Today when i was in a bus, i saw this family of four. The parents are wearing the same shirt and the two children wearing another same shirt. All four of them were standing beside the road eating ice cream. The father holding the mother's hand. The elder brother holding the younger sister's hand. Very sweet. =)
The last time my family met for dinner was one mth ago and we had to travel from Kota Tinggi and Singapore respectively to gather in JB. Though it only lasted for 2hrs, it was good.. Although there were like my mum's kindergarden staffs, my auntie, auntie's friend, my cousins also.. But we cherish it no matter what.
This year is the first year I'm actually alone in Singapore. My parents and siblings are in msia and my kor is in camp. Even auntie went back. Hai~
My noodles are soggy liao.. update later la..

I'm back from East Timor.
The trip was very fruitful and I learnt a lot. Also experienced God in a whole new dimension. The scenery was breath-taking. We just can't stop wow-ing at God's creation. He's just awesome.
In East Timor, we really were able to just concentrate on God and doing His work.. It was very much re-focusing for myself. I had never felt so easy feeling His presence, hearing His voice, prophesising or even seeing visions. I really didn't want to come back. But still, coming back means facing reality. Coming back means facing distractions, challenges, people, difficulties... To still focus on God and get out of the situation victoriously, that's when God will receive the greatest glory....

Though youth camp is over, I'm still very overwhelmed by God's awesome power and wonderful presence. Currently, I'm still very tickled by God as in i keep wanting to laugh or even scream out loud that "God, you are great!" I have no intention to let it die down or whatsoever though!! lalala...
Totally understand what elvin meant. God's power, love, grace, mercy etc really leaves u speechless and WOW. =)
Haven't had a chance to really get some rest cos strictly speaking, i only came back to Singapore on Sunday and training started on monday and will last till thursday of which I'd be flying off to East Timor with Sis Lily, mum, elvin and desmond on Friday for short term missions.. No time to rest but i'm enjoying every second of it cos I just love dwelling in God's presence! =)
Although yesterday I was still worrying and getting rather frustrated over myself as in I was having difficulties communicating and even work with my mum.. lots of patience is needed... I got so irritated that i really didn't want to go with my mum on this trip. It WAS too much a job for me having to look out for her and stuff... BUT God is faithful. Bro Joseph made an altar call abt the call or work God places in our heart is too big for us to bear but God is always there for us to draw strength from... Ok.. It's not just mum's thing but still other calls that I heard from God during the camp and I was rather stressed up. He work miraculously, doesn't He? I was touched by His assurance and I want to be used by Him to show forth His glory... amen... Now, when things are rough, be it with my mum or what, I learn to lean and rely on Him. He is just simply too awesome for words. =)
oh oh... in case u're wondering why can't i communicate with my mum and stuff, it's because my siblings and i were sent to spore to study and the relationship with our parents is not that "brother-brother, sister-sister" type.. It's more like a senior and junior type of relationship i feel.. So this should be the first time that i'm be totally spending time with my mum and it is not gonna be easy unless I put them in God's hands. ^-^
Anyway, it's late and i'm gonna be late for sessions if i dun get out of my house soon.
EAST TIMOR, HERE WE COME! haha...
oh ya... I had sorta two words from God during prayer meeting last night!
Firstly, it was about who and what my heart is beating for.. ok.. I admit I'm easily distracted and tend to place some stuff over God sometimes and He said, "Let your heart beat for me totally, not for other pple or other things..." I repented before Him.. And promised that I'd let my heart beat for Him only...
Then, after the pple prayed for us as in the team, I was filled with the spirit and started sorta laughing.. (so pai seh! hehez..) Then when i got back to my seat, i felt so thirsty.. While I was drinking water, I heard God again... "Be my salt so they may thirst for me." I was like "WOW!" okok... I wanna be the salt! =)
God rocks my world, I wanna rock others'.