ok.. this short blog is dedicated to RICHARDSON! haha.. He bought me a small mango cake for my bday and as it was not mentioned in the previous entry, Richardson has KINDLY brought it up to my awareness and here is one WHOLE entry to say, THANK YOU VERY MUCH!! =)

ok.. It's really time to blog properly.. ALTHOUGH I'm really tired and sleepy now.. heh.. it's past 12am!

It has definitely been a rough and exhausting month.. Be it physically, mentally or emotionally. But God was faithful and He really brought me through.. If by my own strength and with so many things happening at one go, i really would have broke down badly.. I wouldn't deny that i DID broke down a few times when i kept looking to myself. God constantly reminded me that He's around and I really only have to care abt Him. He is my Audience of One.. The only one i need to please... =)

Basically, as the previous blog says, A Levels is OVER! =) Finally.. I dun think i'd do well but again,everything is in God's hands and you'd really never know. Maybe they might just key in the score of shanny twice and we have the same grades! which will definitely be better than mine la. haha...

Secondly, my birthday! haha.. this yr, I dated my books on the actual day!! Actually, it wasn't that bad la.. the night before my bday, elvin gave me a very filling birthday dinner at NYDC. Wah.. really ate A LOT. appetisers, drinks, main course. I was so full and couldn't even finish my food! But got elvin, all plates will be cleared la. =P Then on the actual day, ate breakfast with elvin at BK then studied for near 4hrs before heading home. Was rather depressed cos bday has always been a special date marked on my calendar and I'm stucked with my books and can't go out to celebrate and ALONE at home.. Was so so so sad and was msging esther complaining. heh.. Never did i thought that THEY actually planned a surprise celebration for me.. It must have been esp tough on elvin cos he came up with the idea and i was even angry at him just cos i had to spent it alone. haha.. so brat! He wanted to just tell me abt the celebration but refrained and suffered my nonsense.. (thanks, dear!)
Before they (Joash, Joel,Esther, Elvin and my siblings) came up to my house door, I was even having a very bad diarrhoe and was toilet bowl-ridden. haha.. For evidence, refer to John's blog. I was having puffy eyes and looking sick! haha.. =) Yup, so they came with a cake, sang the bday song and we ate the cake and watch DVD.

Although this bday was just plain initially, everythin just brightened as I realised like what Joel said, I really have the nicest frens(sibings included) around and a really sweet boyfriend.. It's really a bliss to have them. I was so touched. Now i've got another "brother" (Joash) who calls me "er-jie". He has been a blessing too! Not forgetting the previous and existing ones, i.e the P3 (John, Joel and Des). They are really pple who are closest to my heart and I just wanna make sure everything's ok with them and love them.. Of course, it has to be mutual la.. =S

Of course, there's still Esther Foong.. She's definitely the most amazing fren i have.. All the ups and downs we went through but still perservering and going on stronger cos we're bonded and brought together by a covernant with God which should not be broken easily. From threatening to jump out of window, crying while writing letters to now close and blissfully frens, all I can say is "thank you, Lord".

I thought i should thank my brother, John, as well.. He has always been around.. being the mini messenger to elvin sometimes when i'm feeling down at home or what.. I guess we are really loving each other and sharing more than before.. There's only gonna be escalation to our relationship and I mean it.. =) Not forgetting, my elder sis too.. Wanna be closer too. =)

Lastly, elvin. I think no one can love me the way he does le.. other than God of course la.. It's beyond words of how thankful I am that he is always there. Although i get angry at him sometimes cos of different communication style, he is always willing to change and giving in to me.. Like Ps Doug's wife, he only looks at what is good and nice in me, built it up and pray for me. We've learnt that love is not just a feeling but a commitment.. A commitment to God and each other.. It has just been wonderful having him.. Thank God for elvin... =)

Ok.. and all those who msged or wished me (angel, colleen, brian, gabriel, hilda, shirley, aunty jenny, uncle alan, richardson, tino, mark, Samuel.J21, esther chong, esther lin, Chris, Elaine, Beng Kiat, Wen Jian, Callista, siting, shawna, Charis, danielle.SA, Waiyin, Rahmat, Quiyi, Quixia, Sharon, Nigel, Des, Weili, Joy, huiping, hyen ying, peiling, Jessica, jidi, bro Israel, sis barbara, Samsiah, sheena(fellow bday-ee), Shih Hua, weihui and others),thank you for the love and concern.. I'm glad i crossed path with all of you.. =)

kk.. that's all for now cos it's 1am and i'm tired.. =(

Love ya, pple!! =)

My A's are over.

OVER.

O.V.E.R.

O.V.E.R.

O.V.E.R.

Ok... This is it. THE biggest thing that can ever happen to me in my academic life- A'levels.
Here goes...

041104 (thurs)
General Paper 1&2 (3hrs 30min) (0800~1130hrs)

051104 (Friday)
Chinese 'A' Paper 1 (3hrs) (0800~1100hrs)
Chinese 'A' Paper 2 (3hrs) (1430~1730hrs)

171104 (Wed)
Economics Paper 3 (2hr 15min) (1400~1615hrs)

191104 (Friday)
Geography Paper 2 (3hrs) (0800~1100hrs)

221104 (Monday)
Economics Paper 1&2 (3hrs 15min) (0800~1115hrs)

241104 (Wed)
Geography Paper 1 (3hrs) (1400~1700hrs)

Do keep me in prayers ya? I really wanna do well... =)
Thanks! ^o^

How lovely is your dwelling place
O Lord Almighty!
My soul yearns and even faints,
For the courts of the Lord.
My heart and flesh cry out
For the living God.

Even the sparrow has found a home,
and the swallow a nest for herself,
where she may have her young-
a place near your altar,

O Lord Almighty, my King and my God.
Blessed are those who dwell in your house
They are ever praising You
Blessed are those whose strength is in You,
who have set yheir hearts on pilgrimage.
As they pass through the Valley of Baca,
they make it a place of springs.
The autumn rains also cover it with pools.
They go from strength to strenth,
till each appears before God in Zion.

Hear my prayer,
O Lord God Almighty.
Listen to me, O God of Jacob.
Look upon Your shield, O God.
look with favour on your annointed one.

Better is one day in your courts
than a thousand elsewhere.
I would rather be a doorkeeper in the house of my God
than dwell in the tents of the wicked.
For the Lord God is a sun and shield
the Lord bestows favour and honour,
no good things does he withhold
from those whose walk is blameless.

O Lord Almighty,
blessed is the man who trust in You...

Psalm 84

ok.. i'm back. =)

Prelims results are more or less out. By raw score, all my subjects improved by 1 grade. So maybe after moderation, might up a lil more cos some sub's score is like 59 type. =) All in all, thank God for this grace and faithfulness.. =)

Today marks EXACTLY 1 mth to my A's. i.e 30days. And I've godzillion amt of content still not at my finger tips. Knowing is one thing but fully understanding it and vomitting it out again onto my scripts during exams is a different case totally. Guess.. I need to work even harder on that.. For the first time, I'm deeply traumatised by how scary exams can be.. Seriously, studied a lot but dunno what to throw in as answers, blank mind last min, cannot finish the paper, false understanding of the Qns,... =)

Anyway, all i hope for now is just PEACE. No one bothering me. No one talking and complaining. No one interferring with my life. I just wanna finish my A's safely. That's all I wanna do. I dun wanna be like someone i know of (He gave me advice) who screwed up his major exams cos of these nonsensical probs that he put on himself. For me, maybe i didn't handle it well enough and so pple can get hold of something and slam me. Stinks.

But above all, I do believe God is gonna deliver me of which i need to do my part as well.. I wanna have my confidence and self worth in God.. In Him, I find my PEACE and assurance..

"Lord, draw me back to you again.. Let me not be blinded or deafen by all that is occuring.. Send someone, Lord, to be a friend, a support and confidant. Give me, Lord, strength to carry on.. Give me a home where I find rest. Lord, never forsake me, I plead... All I need is You. All I have is You."

Ok, Prelims are officially OVER. This is the toughest exam I've ever taken.. Spread across 4wks, extremely long hours and most disgustingly the stuff i need to study can mount up to tons! All in all, A'level prelims just suck. haha.. =)
Nonetheless, It's O.V.E.R!!
Really appreciated all who kept me in prayers throughout this period of time, namely my family, elvin, uncle John, Sis Judy, Shirleys, richardson, my net(duh!), Qiuxia and the list goes on. God did show forth His grace and mercy on me, giving me a calm spirit even when most of the time, i either couldn't finish studying, couldn't rmb much of what i studied, or couldn't even finish the paper! heh.. not gonna disappoint God during the actual A's, after this weekend, I'm so so so gonna pia like mad. Write essays after essays.. time myself to finish on time.. I always CANNOT finish my paper!! It's either i think too much, too long or I write too slowly. The latter is more possible cos i've nothing in my mind to ponder and write!! Like my physical geog paper the other day! All the Wadis, Kopjes, piedmont zones, deserts, argh...
HAve been enjoying myself interacting with pple whom i seldom talk to. For instance, BRIAN!!! hahaha.. hey brother, i'm acknowledging you here in public, in the borderless world of internet! hahaha.. Got to know him better over these weeks and ya, he's a nice guy! A sincere fren. hehe.. (your head is swelling, brian!) hehe.. like now, i'm chatting with him on MSN!
okok... although i really wanna have a long long entry, but guess, i better prioritise and clean up my room first! all the notes and files are flying arnd! kk.. till laterz..
P/s: Shanny, dun worry ya? I'll be dying with you when results come out. you're not alone there! =)

Apparently it has been more than a mth since I last blogged and shawna can even tell me when was my last blog dated when I saw her ytd.. so embarrassing.. so here I am, back again. =)

These two mths were the most amazing two mths I ever had. Ok other than loving God, loving my family, loving pple around me, TRYing to love studying for my prelims and A’s (argh!!!), another person I now have to love is elvin. =) (ok.. put back your jaws!)

It’s really a long way before we’re attached. Things were rough and tough and sometimes I really wanna give up, largely due to my eyes blinded by other things but we saw God’s hands throughout. It’s really amazing and sweet and securing how God bring two pple together.. The way He showed us this relationship, helping us always to turn back to Him for strength, increasing our faith and confidence in Him, giving leaders and ourselves the peace and assurance that this is a God given relationship, withstanding storms under His wings together and everything, all I can say is “Thank you, God. For always being in our relationship with each other.”

I’ve knew elvin for nearly 6yrs. Like what I said in his friendster’s testimonial, I witnessed his horizontal expansion and contraction, his loud sneeze, his crappiness, his awesome voice, his tears, his heart and love for pple, his care n concern for the younger ones, his insanity in East Timor, his singlet n ultra short shorts when at home, his bag that is never packed n can contain sunday bulletin from a yr ago, his weird theory abt eating deep fried food when sick can cure illnesses, his willingness to help everyone even if he dreads it sometimes like having to carry someone on the back, his slow speed in washing dishes and clothes and ironing, his nagginess, his guitar skills, his talent in writing, his head tt's made of wood or maybe iron, his... Although we sort of know we like each other last December, we didn’t take it off just like that.. A choice to let God be in picture in everything we do is important.. of course, we prayed and prayed and prayed. Heh.. So spiritual. Haha.. =) God revealed to each of us a plan He has for both of us and we were very excited. He showed us that He has indeed placed us in each other’s life and future. Throughout this whole period, I can dare say we didn’t “scandalously” meet up often unless with other frens. We were friends, mild but cherished it dearly. =) Of course now, can meet more often already. =)

When we finally told each other in April, we were extremely happy… Cos both of us were assured in the Lord for this relationship. Of course, we continued praying and seek advice and counseling from leaders..

Frankly, things didn’t go as smoothly as we thought it would, the future that God held for us. Not mentioning the overwhelming negative remarks that we got, it was partly our excitement for this relationship that we nearly chose to love each other more than God, taking things in our own pace and way. It was scarily dangerous.. But we thank God for He pulled us back into His presence again because of His grace, mercy and most importantly, His love for us… Seriously, when God is in control, everything will work well for His greatest glory..

Because we nearly fell into the trap of Satan, the more we cherish this relationship and work towards making it beautiful in God’s eyes. But it’s not just two party but THREE. God, elvin and me. Of course, it really requires lots of discipline that we do feel tired and frustrated sometimes but God stilled our hearts.. He exchanged those negative feelings with more love and patience, be it towards each other or others. I wouldn’t say we are Saints but putting on Christ-likeness even in a love relationship, strengthens our faith in God. Now we are having counseling with Bro Stanley and Sis Regina and they gave us advice and guidelines to help us esp when sometimes we really didn’t how a Christian BGR should be handled. Thank God for other leaders like Sis Lily, Jidi, Pastor Jeremy, uncle John, Shirley, who care a lot for us too. =)

Ok.. this entry is getting too long.. next time then update again. =)
Shall end with this song that elvin sang during our first official date. I know he meant every word he sang and I also want to be there through thick and thin. =)

I Will Be Here
-Steven Curtis Chapman

Tomorrow morning if you wake up
And the sun does not appear
I, I will be here
If in the dark, we lose sight of love
Hold my hand, and have no fear
'Cause I, I will be here

I will be here
When you feel like being quiet
When you need to speak your mind
I will listen
And I will be here
When the laughter turns to cryin'
Through the winning, losing and trying
We'll be together
’Cause I will be here

Tomorrow morning, if you wake up
And the future is unclear
I, I will be here
As sure as seasons were made for change
Our lifetimes were made for these years
So I, I will be here

I will be here
So you can cry on my shoulder
When the mirror tells us we're older
I will hold you
And I will be here
To watch you grow in beauty
And tell you all the things you mean to me
I will be here

I will be true to the promise I have made
To you and to the One who gave you to me

Just as sure as seasons were made for change
Our lifetimes were made for these years
So I, I will be here
We’ll be together
‘Cause I will be here
I will be here.

Everything’s OK
-Chris Rice

Looked out my window last night,
From my pillow and I,
Saw the willow weeping a causal sigh.
Man in the moon looked rather,
Sad and confused as if he'd,
Become a mirror into my watery eyes.
I dreamed and prayed through the night,
Please send some grace with your morning light.

And he sent you along like a summer day,
With a blue-sky smile on your funny face,
And a bird flew by singing everything's gonna be OK, yeah,
So we laughed all day with the man in the moon,
And we thanked the good Lord for the afternoon,
'Cause He showed me His love by sending me you,
And it's OK now,
Everything's OK.

Opened my window tonight,
Hear the rain falling light,
Whispering that everything is alright.
Long, low, and gentle rumble,
Starts in the west and tumbles,
Across the corners of the colorless sky.
I blow a kiss through the dark,
Sails on the thunder and reaches heaven's heart.

And he sent you along like a summer day,
With a blue-sky smile on your funny face,
And a bird flew by singing eveything's gonna be OK, yeah,
So we laughed all day with the man in the moon,
And we thanked the good Lord for the afternoon,
'Cause He showed me His love by sending me you,
And it's OK now,
Everything's OK.

We laughed all day,
And we thanked the good Lord,
Cause He showed me His love,
OK now.

And he sent you along like a summer day,
With a blue-sky smile on your funny face,
And a bird flew by singing eveything's gonna be OK, yeah,
We laughed all day with the man in the moon,
And we thanked the good Lord for the afternoon,
'Cause He showed me His love by sending me you,
And it's OK now,
Everything's OK.

Everything's OK (x2)

It's such a nice song... So sweet! esp the chorus. Shared it with bro and i think he likes it too cos he's still humming it! haha... Very nice love song to sing for couples! hahaha..
Had dinner at esplanade last night. The scenery was so good! Then took a stroll along the river to digest. Enjoyed myself a lot esp when yesterday was my LAST paper!! hahaha.. So glad that BT is finally over. I think God has really been very gracious to me. Despite only starting like few days before and was so sick that i didn't even go for GP paper, I actually managed to go through other papers feeling calm. =)
Going Sentosa tmr. Hopefully the sun is good then can tan a lil. If not walk around also can. It's the company that matters ma! haha... Can't wait though. Very long nv go sentosa le.
kk.. mission of the day. CLEAN UP THE HOUSE! CLEAR MY STUDY TABLE. PLAY POOL WITH BRO. NET AT DES' HOUSE.
Alright.. once again, it's a really sweet song.. ^-^

Everything To Me
-Avalon

I grew up in Sunday school
I memorized the Golden Rule
And how Jesus came to set the sinner free
I know the story inside out
I can tell you all about
The path that led Him up to Calvary
But ask me why He loves me
And I don't know what to say
But I'll never be the same
Because He changed my life when He became...

CHORUS:
Everything to me
He's more than a story
More than words on a page of history
He's the air that I breathe
The water I thirst for
And the ground beneath my feet
He's everything, everything to me

We're living in uncertain times
And more and more I find that I'm aware
Of just how fragile life can be
I want to tell the world I found
A love that turned my life around
They need to know that they can taste and see
Now every day I'm praying
Just to give my heart away
I want to live for Jesus
So that someone else might see that He is...

BRIDGE:
And looking back over my life at the end
I'll go to meet You saying You've been

Listened to this song for many times yesterday. The two verses are just so real to me. I grew up in a Christian family, in church, being forced to read the bible everyday when i was young and memorising proverbs verses BECAUSE my mum said it's important and beneficial. Doing everything because it's a MUST, really knowing the story of Jesus' sacrifice and singing so many songs of God sending His Son for us and Jesus' sufferings, without clearly understanding what everything actually meant was my younger days.

However, God is always faithful. He had everything planned and i had my encounter with Him. A true encounter with Him that cannot be explained or described by the songs i sing or the verses that i memorised. It was and IS still so personal. So amazing and dear to me. Like in the second verse, I truly want to tell the world that I've found a love that turned my life around. AND I really really want to live for Jesus so that someone else might see that He is EVERYTHING TO ME. That He is more than a story, more than words on a page of history. And that He has become the air that I breathe, the water I thirst for and the ground beneath my feet.

Then the bridge which says, "And looking back over my life at the end, I'll go to meet You saying You've been everything to me." I want to say that to God when i meet Him next time. Really. But many atimes, I do fall, I do sin, I do get lazy and tired. Everyday as I pray, I pray for mercy.. Mercy on me, God. Preserve my life, so I may make right with You and make You everything in my life and that I can joyfully join You and fellow angels in Heaven giving You all the praise and glory. Our God is a gracious God. So far, He has never forsaken me anytime. Be it happy or depressing or disappointing incidents. I am grateful that I am serving a faithful and loving God who is not far away or made by man.

Truly, sincerely and with all my heart, I WANT to make him...

EVERYTHING TO ME...

I Am Nothing
-Ginny Owens

I could travel over oceans, cross the deserts, climb the mountains
Just to share Your story, bring You glory, and win souls for You.
I could sing like an angel, songs so humble and so thankful
Full of drama and emotion, so the world would know Your truth.
I could give away my money and my clothes and my food
To restore those people who are poor, lost, and down-and-out.
Oh, I could succeed at all these things,
Find in favor with peasants and kings,
But if I do not love, I am nothing.

I could live a flawless life,
Never cheat or steal or lie,
And always speak so kindly, smile warmly, and go about doing good.
I could dedicate myself to do what everyone else wants me to-
Listen to them, compliment them, say the things I should.
I could show up every Sunday, lead the Choir and Bible Study
And they all might come to know me as a leader and a friend.
Oh, I could achieve success on Earth, but success cannot define my worth
And all these actions, all these words, will not matter in the end-

CHORUS:
Songs will fade to silence,
Stories, they will cease.
The dust will settle, covering all my selfless deeds.
So as I strive to serve You,
Won't You make it clear to me,
If I do not love, I am nothing.

BRIDGE:
If I cannot live my life loving my brother,
Then how can I love the One who lived His life for me?

Sent to Earth from Heaven,
Humble Servant, Holy King,
Come to share a story, get no glory, and save my searching soul,
You knew that I'd deny You, crucify You, but nothing could stop You from
living for me, dying for me, so that I would know-

CHORUS:
Songs will fade to silence,
Stories will cease,
The dust will settle covering these selfless deeds.
But Your life here has made it clear enough for me to see
That if I do not love, I am nothing.

Indeed, I am nothing. I can fake everyone by smiling, joking, mingling with everyone. I can even be on duty on stage singing but my heart wasn't with God. I can easily raise my hands and worship God to portray a spiritual Christian image but what for? Self-glorification? self-satisfaction? What for?

Truly, I am nothing unless I REALLY love God and my brothers. "This commandment we have from Him: that he who loves God must love his brother also" -1 John 4:21 It is a commandment and if I'm not able to do it, I'm sinning..

I'm learning to slowly let go of the hurts, bitterness and pains cos if these persist, I'd only be further and further away from God and that seriously is freaking me out.

In nearly every church, there will be a porcupine people or two, with sharp quills of criticism or sarcasm or arrogance. We want to avoid them, but God places us in communities of believers for fellowship. He commands us to love one another- including the porcupine types. And I do admit that I have quills too.. And so what am I to judge or even continue to dwell in the state of low-lying cos of others?

I'm glad that God is faithful enough to not just leave me to die on my own... He never did leave me alone for a millisecond even when my heart was no longer putting Him as the top priority.. He sent different ones to be there and most importantly, reminded me that I CAN ask from Him the gift of love and forgiveness. I realised so vividly that God nv once failed me when I cry out to Him. It is a promise that He'll be there for us. As we desire Him, we will encounter Him. It is a truth, a promise, an assurance which stands forever. Putting an act in our daily lives is tiring, but when you sincerely do it for God and eventually naturally, it is once again a refreshing and joyful experience every time. I want to try harder for God. For loving each other is the way we show the world that we love God..

Some people can be difficult to love and so we do not even try to care,
But God says, "Love them just as I've loved you. You'll bring Me glory as My love you share."

如果说星星是穷人的钻石,我说他们比我们幸福。
因为他们懂得珍惜身边的人事物。
我的名字也有个“锨”。“锨”与“星”同音。
锨却有如流星，短暂且容易淡忘。
人能在瞬间爱上它，也能在瞬间让它独自毁灭、消失。
锨与星的待遇岂能相同？
如果我也是颗星星，也是某人的钻石，
我是否也能得到同等的幸福，同等的怜惜，同等的爱？
可惜，我不是一颗星星。
不是。

p/s: pls change encoding to "unicode (UTF-8)" to read Chinese blogs.

"esther, you're stuck with me forever! haha.. nothing can pull us apart or let you be away from my love and most importantly, ME. =)" says the Lord.

man.. i'm so tickled even now and i just wanna laugh! the Joy.. the Gratitude that God will never leave, it's just so overwhelming. What can i say? I'm in love. In love with God. ok, maybe someone else also but I just feel that this kinda relationship and love with God, it's just beyond words. beyond imagination. Beyond containment.Beyond everything. argh... Love Ya, God!

Ok.. just a general update, EVERYTHING IS GOING ON WELL FOR ME!! EVERYTHING! I've got great frens around me and Rebecca and I are bridging again. We talked much more and the RV version of her is coming back.. Joining CS is a good choice. But I know at a time like this, the more vulnerable i'd be if i'm not cautious.. So, I'm gonna be really stay connected with God..

Last but not least, thank God for Jidi who really care for the ministry hence bringing abt today's "Journey into God's chamber" meeting. She has been such a blessing... =)

sis say it's time to type something so that the "testing" can be removed. So here am i. hehez..
Basically, I'd say that last wk till now has been a real emotion roller coaster for me but still I wanna thank God for friends and siblings around me. For instance, MY SISTER AND BROTHER! ok, not forgetting Jidi and Cheryl. (dun ask me why but they are really nice pple and have been hanging out with them these days.)
Basically, there was this entrepreneur day last Friday which my class participated and it was really fun! Our cost price was around $80 dollars and other than covering that cost, we profited over $200! hahaha.. who say girls can't be into business!? We've prove you pple W.R.O.N.G.! muahaha.. This event actually prepared us for the upcoming Service Learning in July but this time round, we'd be going out to other schools!! ohoh.. I just realised i didn't mention what good we were selling!! Ok, we sold hand-maded earring. VEry nice! haha..
Alright.. that's not what i wanna say actually. WHAT I WANNA SAY IS I'M LIKE TRANSFERRED INTO THE SINGLES MINISTRY LOH!!! have been spending so much time with Jidi, sister, Cheryl, shirley and pple. I'm a youth. I'm a Youth. I'm a YOUTH. I'm a Y.O.U.T.H!!!! However, it was really fun la. hehez.. It started with Friday they coming over to prepare spagetti (sp?) then Saturday we went to play soccer with the region in the morning. Woah.. Jidi is such a good striker/shooter. haha.. I just can't play soccer for nuts la.. Will only trip over my own leg loh. Then we went to Holland V's NYDC for dinner at night, also to celebrate Richardson's bday of course. Sunday, we went lunch together again! muahaha.. this time rnd with Alice, shirley and another lady. Also, very fun. Laughed a great deal sia! haha.. Tuesday had dinner with Jidi again. I really love her so much! Very nice person who really care for pple and try to remember every single detail of what others say and show concern. I really appreciate her esp in her ministry to reaching out to other single ladies. I can see that my sis is enjoying and engaging herself more with church pple and church stuff. =)
Anyway, i think this is enough to push the "testing" out of the main page. hehez...
P/S: Tuesday's prayer items were really good. "Living a life worthy of the Lord, Obeying God's Word our top priority, Seek God with all our heart and spirit.."

testing.

Actually, i typed a really long blog last night and this afternoon but apparently, due to problems with my internet explorer, all are gone. sianz...
Anyway, the "unsaved" entries were about Passion and Forsaken. Totally no mood to type it all out again now. SHOULD HAVE COPIED IT BEFORE CLICKING ON PUBLISH!! grr... ok, generally, both production is PERFECT!! God's spirit was with us throughout the whole of the production-Forsaken, be it the rehearsals, props making or the actual day itself! I was still very touched on the actual day by the performance despite watching it so many times during the rehearsals. God was indeed in the house! =)
Today's prayer meeting was just awesome. Church feels like a family to me nowadays. or for the past 1 yr esp. The atmosphere in our region is definitely changing! Sis lily went up today and talked abt her being really encouraged upon seeing no segregation in the youths and adults during the preparation for the easter day production. Everyone was so bonded, working with the same heart for God. We prayed against generation gap and indeed after all these months of mingling, there was and will still be breakthroughs! man.. i just cannot contain my excitement!! lalala.. There is really unity in the body now and satan has no means to sow discord. hehez..
I wanna especially appreciate certain pple here though i dunno if they would actually be reading this.

Auntie Jenny and Uncle George
They were the first few who actually opened up to some youths, making us feel comfortable talking to adults then slowly brought us to mingle around with the adults. They are more youthful and energetic than some of us i think. real blessed by them!

Uncle Boyle and Auntie Anne
These are the two amazing ones! They really dote on us lots! bringing us out for food, faithfully sending us encouraging smses and reminding us to go for morning prayers. Lovely couple! esp uncle boyle!! he's so cheeky loh!

Uncle Allan and Sis Brenda
Got to know them better through this production. They dun treat us like kids and really trust us to do things for them. I respect them a lot. Esp their service to God without complain. =)

Uncle Man Seng
Haha... he has a really nice green car!! haha.. Uncle Man Seng really make us feel important and i like him a lot cos when he get down with work, he is very focus and most importantly, he is one big lamer! had lotsa fun hanging around him!

Bro Kenneth and Sis Judy
I think i really talked to sis judy a lot. she's so funny. but her suaning power also very powerful. haha.. She came up to me today and said she has nv imagined that she could actually chat with the youths!! haha.. oh ya.. she even said how excited she was throughout the whole production because the whole atmosphere was so different and she was so happy that she couldn't sleep at night! These are two who really focus and quietly serve ones.. faithful servants!

Sis Lily
What can i say.. I just love her so much! She also contributed lots in helping us walked out of the exclusive nature of youth ministry and really enter into the big family of God. A passionate lady whom i really look up to! Love her company too!!

Bro Stanley and Sis Regina
Bro Benny and Winnifer
Pastor Andrew and sis angela
Mark Mak and wife
Sis Sandy
Bro Henry and Sis Sue
Des's parents
Bro Frankie and wife
Sis Susan
Sis Helen
Man.. the list can just go on forever man!! Nonetheless, I just LOVE them so much! They made a difference in my life and in bridging the gap between youths and adults!
kk.. i will need to find time to blog another time cos i hear my hmwk crying out to me...
I'll be back!!

Satan called a worldwide convention of demons.



In his opening address he said,



"We can't keep Christians from going to church."

"We can't keep them from reading their Bibles and knowing the truth."

"We can't even keep them from forming an intimate relationship with their Saviour."

"Once they gain that connection with Jesus, our power over them is broken."



"So let them go to their churches; let them have their covered dish dinners, BUT steal their time, so they don't have time to develop a relationship with Jesus Christ."



"This is what I want you to do," said the devil:



"Distract them from gaining hold of their Saviour and maintaining that vital connection throughout their day!"



"How shall we do this?" his demons shouted.



"Keep them busy in the non-essentials of life and invent innumerable schemes to occupy their minds," he answered.

"Tempt them to spend, spend, spend, and borrow, borrow, borrow."



"Persuade the wives to go to work for long hours and the husbands to work 6-7 days each week, 10-12 hours a day, so they can afford their empty lifestyles."

"Keep them from spending time with their children."

"As their families fragment, soon, their homes will offer no escape from the pressures of work!"

"Over-stimulate their minds so that they cannot hear that still, small voice."

"Entice them to play the radio or cassette player whenever they drive." "To keep the TV, VCR, CDs and their PCs going constantly in their home and see to it that every store and restaurant in the world plays non-biblical music constantly."

"This will jam their minds and break that union with Christ."



"Fill the coffee tables with magazines and newspapers."

"Pound their minds with the news 24 hours a day."

"Invade their driving moments with billboards."

"Flood their mailboxes with junk mail, mail order catalogs, sweepstakes, and every kind of newsletter and promotional offering free products, services and false hopes."



"Keep skinny, beautiful models on the magazines and TV so their husbands will believe that outward beauty is what's important, and they'll become dissatisfied with their wives. "

"Keep the wives too tired to love their husbands at night."

Give them headaches too!

"If they don't give their husbands the love they need, they will begin to look elsewhere."

"That will fragment their families quickly!"



"Give them Santa Clause to distract them from teaching their children the real meaning of Christmas."

"Give them an Easter bunny so they won't talk about his resurrection and power over sin and death."

"Even in their recreation, let them be excessive."

"Have them return from their recreation exhausted."



"Keep them too busy to go out in nature and reflect on God's creation. Send them to amusement parks, sporting events, plays, concerts, and movies instead. "Keep them busy, busy, busy!"

"And when they meet for spiritual fellowship, involve them in gossip and small talk so that they leave with troubled consciences."

"Crowd their lives with so many good causes they have no time to seek power from Jesus."

"Soon they will be working in their own strength, sacrificing their health and family for the good of the cause."

"It will work!" "It will work!"



It was quite a plan!



The demons went eagerly to their assignments causing Christians everywhere to get busier and more rushed, going here and there.

Having little time for their God or their families.

Having no time to tell others about the power of Jesus to change lives.

I guess the question is, has the devil been successful in his schemes?

You be the judge!!!!!

Does "BUSY" mean:

B-eing

U-nder

S-atan's

Y-oke?

今天是我好久以来第一次没有去青少年聚会。 不过这也是我第一次为阿姨庆生。 长久以来她都对我们疼爱有加。在我记忆里， 当我病得很重的时候都是她出现照顾。 犹记有一次，我的高烧久久不退，神志已有些不清。 阿姨在那几天，每天都煮羚羊水给我退热， 最后还用酒精为我擦身降热。 我开刀过后的几天，由于家人都回去马来西亚，我便暂住她的家。她真的是不眠不休的照顾我。 虽然有些时候我们会抱怨她很罗嗦、长气, 但是心中的感激却是不言而喻的。 她真的是个好人！（quote: 贫穷贵公子！）
待会儿的庆祝会将是个惊喜！阿姨完全不晓得我们会出现。 我们还请了神秘嘉宾呢～！ 好了，姐姐在催我了… 对了！我们还做了龙眼布丁呢！ hehez.. 回来再写！ =)

Viral infection. Lost my voice. sleeping all day. Got 2days MC. Weak joints and muscle aches.
BUT
I'm surviving! =)

Rain down on me,
Rain down on me,
Here in your presence I am free.
Pour down like rain,
Come and touch me again,
Lord let your presence fall on me.

hee.. kk, dun freak out! This song was done so many times during the concert that pple just "argh!!!" at it. But I have to admit that it is a nice song. =) hehez.. I'm blasting "Everything's Change" in the room now! very jumpy song. okok.. back to the concert. erm.. conference i mean. I attended all the night sessions. It was VERY good. Everyone was just so set free in worship. It really encouraged and touched me a lot when i saw the youth, more than 2000 of us worship God together in one voice and one spirit. I was just "woah.. God, you're awesome!". Esp when the music quiet down and it was just the voices. You can just sense God coming down amongst us and touching every single one.. I was so so so touched.. I cried out to God saying, this is the group of pple whom you can use. Choose us, choose me! =)

Another thing that happened this wk was I led worship at encounter! hehez.. I was only told the night before at 11pm after the conference. Maybe they really couldn't find anyone else already. All the tiertiary students had sch, jason needs to work and Janice can't play and lead at the same time. But I'm glad to be able serve God in this way. It was really fun actually. I led for 3 sessions i think. then the ministry time. Did "So You Would Come" for nearly all the ministry time. haha.. i think the pple at encounter must be quite tired of the song. =P Heard from elvin that he led that song for ministry time also after i left. hehez...

ok, I ga-brad once. When I was suppose to sing "Let the heavens rejoice (pause) let the earth be glad (pause) Let the pple of God sing....", after the music started, I actually sang "Let the heavens rejoice and the earth be glad." then I saw Chris laughing (he knows my song list) then i turned to look at Janice and she gave me a VERY blur look. Luckily it was the 3rd session already and i just stopped singing and said "opps, wrong song. let's do it again and praise God!" everyone was laughing and i was glad they eased up a lil already.. Since morning, they were quite dead loh..

Anyway, so that was my whole "encounter" of leading worship at erm.. encounter. hehez.. Jeremy praised me!! lalala.. kk.. i should stop ga-ga-ing. =P

Yesterday was so fun! Met esther foong in the morning to study. Really wanna puke blood man.. esp when trying to give her Chinese spelling. *shake head* Then we went to eat Sakae buffet with des and elvin after which we proceeded to esther's place to watch United Live DVD. Jason joined us too. Then after a while, joy also came over. I think we went crazy in elvin's room. Dunno what we did exactly other than lazing around and my dear esther playing my hair; computer blasting music; joy, elvin and jason playing the guitar; eating fruits on the bed; jason playing Bejeweled and keep losing because of me; watching the ET presentation; watching "wo ai wo jia". really SLACK.

TODAY, going joy's place with esther to study. They'll be doing their hmwk la. I'll be studying.. Block Test!!!! today is already friday.. i'm so so so dead. God, help me! =)

kk.. gtg liao. =)

ok, i TRIED to study at home today. Apparently, only finished 2 out of 7 stacks of lecture notes on human geog. Too slack liao.. study a while, go play piano; study a while, go watch tv; study a while, go eat or drink or washroom. Now, online. bah. =P

Anyway, going for the planet Shakers concert later and i'm so so so excited!!!!!! lalala.. my bro and pple went in the morning liao. They are attending the day conference also. So good. =( I'm stuck with my books in the day loh... but no choice la, graduating this year and i have to do well for my A's!! Finally.

Will be helping out at youth encounter tmr in the morning.. argh.. so early.. i have to leave my house at 7:50am.. FOR GOD! I'LL DO IT! hee.. When Jason called, I said "bye bye" before he could say anything and he was like, "eh!! Esther! help me la!" Btw, recently, des and i have been saying tt Jason is so cute! esp his tummy!! ahaha.. ok, maybe his jokes also. as long as it doesn't suan me of cos. =p

oh oh oh!! Nearly forgot to write abt yesterday afternoon! haha.. we were jamming in the sanctuary! Joy on acoustic guitar, my bro on bass, nigel on drums and me on piano. so interesting! haha.. the best was when we did Beautiful One i think then You are my world also not bad. Joy also tried to play Lift up your eyes on drums. hehez.. she was complaining that i keep changing all the A key songs to G key and the E key ones to D!! haha.. easier to play on the piano ma... =) But it was really fun la! Then the corporate drummer went up and took over cos he say we seemed to be enjoying ourselves LOTS and he also wanna join in! haha.. see, music break down barriers of all sorts! hmm.. then eric's proposal on having a Music Night as Big Bang sounds good now. =)

kk.. this is just a crappy entry la.. wait till we update abt the concert!!! tata! need to bathe and get ready liao. lalala...

PLANET SHAKERS!!!

ok, in the sch library again. 3 stinking long free periods before the last period of the day which is my "favourite" GP. total waste of time cos today is reading period.. i can jolly well read at home too what.. Whatever la...

these two weeks haven't been a bed of roses for me and i'm still very much affected by the way things are now. Just wanna thank Colleen for praying or even lending a listening ear when i really needed it most! haha.. Just a simple Qn, "How are you recently?" and it just allowed me to share... Maybe I have always been the one asking other pple this Qn tt i totally forget how it actually sound to me instead. Nonetheless, it was very comforting. Cos seldom have pple ask so most of the time is coped up in me. hehez.. so yesterday wasn;t that bad a day after all esp after the nonsense in sch. hai~

Those JC1s in my regions are SLACKERS sia! All having SELF-DECLARED holidays! Namely, JOEL LEONG, DESMOND NG, JOHN TAN AND COLLEEN CHUA! irritating! Your er-jie here still have tutorials and an upcoming block tests loh!! Grr...
Anyway, the song on des's blog is nice. Really quite weepy but I didn't cry la.. just very stirred up. =) Lyrics are impactful i'd say.

Was reading this article on WAR in TIMES mag. It says war is inevitable because human beings yearn for blood and glory. I was like "ok... Blood and Glory". Actually, i feel war doesn't just occur between countries for power or spatial or territorial expansion. When war arises amongst normal people in daily life, it's just for "Destruction and self-satisfaction." Sadly. =S

Anyway, that was totally out of point. I'm just typing whatever that comes to my mind.
Planning to make free my thursday i.e tomorrow for something like a "personal retreat". Need to let my mind take a break for all the nonsensical things that i really don't have strength to handle anymore. The upcoming block tests are actually stressing me up. Hope to at least get a "B" for geog.. ah!! Mdm Habibah say I'm improving! lalala.. I passed my essay test (14/25). It's quite good they say cos quite a number got single digits.. Hardwork will pay off definitely! =)

kk.. 10 more minutes..

Joel is coming over to my house later with my tuition kids to teach them Science. haha... if u all have read joash's blog, u'd know abt joel's "joke" to QX. Hopefully he had clear it up with her of which i suspect he hasn't cos when QX left last night, Joel still didn't manage to tell her the truth~! naughty boy!!!

Alright... I shall end here and borrow some books to read for the wkend or mar hols!
tata!

pple, if u can't read the chinese characters, right click, go encoding then choose unicode or chinese simplified. =)

窗外下着惊天动魄的大雨。 豆大的雨点放肆而不协调地打在玻璃窗上。谱出的乐曲只能叫人悲伤、哭泣。

today's weather is so cold. I like rainy days. Love the lazing feeling. Just dun feel like moving type. hehez.. BUT, despite the heavy rain, i went to give tuition.. 3 whole hours of math. I nearly died. My throat still feel very sore.. BUT(again), benefitted in monetary terms! haha...
Anyway, Mr lee told us that we can drop AOmath since university admission only requires one AO sub. Couldn't use HCL last time hence we chose to take AOmath despite learning it before in secondary sch. Actually, doesn't hurt much for me and becca cos we nv gone for any lecture this 1plus year. =P

雨天使人悲伤。 Samsiah 跟她的男朋友分手了。她一直问我和becca，“all guys are jerks ya?” 看得出她很伤心。毕竟他们在一起近三年了。我问becca, “暗恋和相恋哪一个比较痛苦？你会选哪个？” becca 选暗恋。 我也选暗恋。因为虽然痛苦，但它不会伤害任何人，它也是最安全的。 从一旁默默关心着你爱的人，我觉得还是幸福的。但是绝对不能贪婪，或渴望更多，因为你将不止让自己痛苦，他也将反感，甚至厌恶你。


雨天也会让人胡思乱想。以上就是最好的证明。 =)

two whole weeks of not blogging and i'm back again! lalala.. Basically, I'm having my free periods now cos my lit teacher has to analyse the Chinese results and she can't come. Ling Zhen say our Chinese class is very slack of which i agree TOTALLY. We always end early and most of the time it's just the teacher talking to us. How long have i not written a proper essay already? ok.. other than those short ones with titles like "ren sheng wu tai" or "zhe li you wo de qin su". hehez..

Anyway, DESMOND'S BLOG IS SO NICE! hehez.. a bit contributed by me cos the picture is taken by me in East Timor! The reason why my blog is in it's disgusting purple is because the pic tt i uploaded cannot be seen. It is also another ET pic. Des is gonna help me with it so hopefully it can work. =)

Watched BIG FISH on Wed with esther, des, joel, jessica, eric, colleen, jason, QX and brian. I'm quite glad tt youths in our region are bonding better nowadays. That day we went pool. 12 of us~! Actually, it's not that hard to include everyone in activities.. When i msged Yvonne to ask if she wanna watch movie with us, she was so shocked! never did she expect tt we'd actually ask her cos there're this "I dun belong to your group ma." thing that caused this automatic "disintegration" amongst the youths. BUT hehez.. we are determined to break it! lalala..

Having GP essay test later and I didn't even look thru the Qns. With my kind of grades for GP, I should really start seeing the urgency and danger of dying during block test for instance. BUT the point here is SHOULD, not MUST! haha.. okok.. dun faint.

Anyway, my class had 10 absentees yesterday and it's VERY bad. Heard that my CT was furious. Scolded me also but thank God i wasn't around... hai~ I thought i improved liao. I only absent for 1 day this wk loh~! Angeline wasn't here for 3 days last wk! nvm la.. I'll TRY to be here all 5 days next week...

kk.. i wanna try putting the background in liao.

Going to pick sis lily from the airport later! So gonna surprise her sia! =)

Then combine net with Jason's and sulinn's. Gonna be darn fun!

Alright.. tell next time then. =)

Unless you are COMMITTED to your CAUSE, you are not CONVERTED.
Isn't it scary? Imagine you have not been committed into doing what God wants or instructed and stated in His word, that means you're not a Christian at all. I was shocked when I saw this phrase when i was packing some papers. I realised I could not boldly say, "Yes, I have been committed to my cause in Christ. I'm converted. I'm a Christian." I want to be a Christian. A True Christian.
What about you?

Have u ever forgotten how u look? I did. I was shocked. Then scared.
Walked into a lift today and there're mirrors in it. When I saw my reflection, I didn't even know it's me. Took sometime to realise, the reflection was doing the same actions then i realised it was me.
Was looking through some photo albums at Weili's house. I actually didn;t stop to look at some of my photos cos i didn't realise i was in them.
I couldn't recognise meself.
Don't understand.
Maybe u all should try closing ur eyes and see if u can remember how u look...

Went to COOS yesterday for the Post-Fever100 service. It was great as usual but I was rather convicted. Des wrote in his blog about it's not whether we have turned cold but whether we've lost our heat. Our passion.
Digged out the journal that i wrote in East Timor and read it...
I think i'm at this stage when i dunno if i'm cold or hot. I'm doing a lot of things because i'm suppose to. And it seemed more like responsibilty and routine more than "God, for you!" kinda mentality.. Have I lost my focus?
Yes. Though I'm still following Him, in His path, my eyes are not on Him. They are just staring blankly.
My last entry in the journal before i came back was on sustaining what i encountered in East Timor and be focused, no longer distracted. All the awesome presence of God in my life, hearing His still and vivid voice. However, I've allowed things of the world and my busy schedule to consume me. I have allowed other voices to set in TOGETHER with God's voice AND i didn't even allow myself to quiet down to distinguish God's voice from the others. I'm just running and running like a headless chicken. This is bad.
BUT
I'm not gonna let this continue and i thank God for sending Ps Seaward to preach on "Listening to His voice". Actually, I was very scared when Ps Seaward said that God will just get tired of talking to u if we keep ignoring or don't obey. I was frantic. Started telling God, "okok!! Dun give up on me! pls pls pls!!" hehez.. =)
Anyway, was also reading the word that was given to me during the trip by the Selvams. A new season in the spirit, a season of growth and stretching of which the results will be maturity and God will break new things into my life. Shall spare u all the details la. BUT I want to hang on to His promise. I want to grow in Him. NEver losing sight of God or letting Him go. So if u see me, getting too busy and running aruond like a headless chicken, just tell me, "esther, are u spending time with Him? Have u been talking to Him and hear His voice?" Or just whack my head la. easier. but mercy on me by exerting less strength k!
Anyway, gtg to toa payoh now for NKF flag day after which have to rush for the edge then rush to Bro Andrew's party. HEhez.. can't wait to see bro andrew and wife's shock faces. =)
tata! ^o^

derek! I'm blogging now!! hehez...
Basically, my eyes are closing.. very very sleepy.. rushed to several places today, gave tuition then went prayer meeting.. Today's sch was rather hectic cos i spent most of my time rushing hmwk.. Not completed yet still.. 3 more essays.. i'm really too dead to do them... stoned o_o
Anyway, prayer meeting was very different today.. I saw a vision and i told Bro Willie.. He shared it. I saw these 4 graphs, a fluctuating frequency curve; a horizontal straight line graph; an upward sloping curve; a downward sloping curve. God asked, "which graph depicts ur love for me? Which one shows my love for u?" Then this phrase keeps coming, "love me more than yesterday.."
Actually, i was rather convicted.. I wasn't very sure which on was my curve.. but i'm very sure it is not the upward sloping one and it's not a good sign.. But one thing that i was very sure was that God's love is steady, consistant, constant and unchanging. That was assuring enough to help me make the decision that yes, I want to have a constant or an upward sloping curve... =)
I need to quiet down and re-focus again. I shall not be consumed by work or routines but to continue dwelling in His awesome presence.. amen. =)

ok.. it had been raining for days and I have been dozing off every now and then and EVERYWHERE! haha.. in Lectures, in class, during tests, when doing homework, when using computer, when erm... doing devotions.. THE WEATHER IS TOO CONDUCIVE FOR SLEEPING! grr... But I like... (so mr Lynn..) haha...
Anyway, waiting for GP lesson to start 80min free period before that loh.. Waste time. Wah lao.. Library is so stinking cold and everyone is wearing jackets or sweaters. My dearest fren, rebecca is helping me type out the class emergency contact list! So nice.. hehez.. but i also intro her for a Chinese tuition deal. call quits!
As u can see.. this entry is just total crapping.. Have nothing in mind what to type and at the same time have nothing in mind to feel up my blank hmwk. =S
Meeting esther to jog today then study. Leaders having meeting at her house so i was thinking of asking her over to my place instead. Better ma! But i dunno whether my maid cleaned up the place before going back msia la. Maybe still very messy. hee..
Sis got her job as a lecturer in NYP! haha... though it's just a ultra fanciful name with a not so amazing pay but we are really happy that she got a job! esp when times are bad and she didn't even like send out MANY applications. Really thank God.. =)
My tutoring job is also providing me with some good money that i can save up for this yr's fever 100 trip! Thinking of opening another account.. so i won't ACCIDENTALLY spend it.. oh ya! Hopefully the church can let me have the 500bucks for the trip, instead of for gig! *brr.. fingers are freezing...*
Got to know uncle Boyle and Auntie Ann these few mths. I really like uncle boyle! so funny! sometimes very cheeky also. hehez.. But they are really generous pple, not just in monetary form but the way they really care and love pple. =) Of course, not forgetting my Godma, auntie Jenny and uncle george. They are also very nice pple.. Am really thankful to have known them through elvin and esther. God is always so caring.. these few mths, mum has always been in msia cos of her busy schedule in her kindergarden and auntie jenny really treated us well.. remembering the time when john and i were saying very long nv eat home cooked food when we were chatting before we sleep, the next day, auntie jenny invited us over for dinner.. dunno if it's of divine appointment but i'm still thankful! =)
kk... time's up. GP teacher coming to the lab liao.. shall end the crapping session. =)

Basically, I'm currently back in Spore and I'm not exactly happy abt it cos it's CHINESE NEW YEAR!! And when everyone is back home eating good food, playing fire crackers and enjoying all the time together, i'm now all alone at home. grr... it's all because of SAT! Greg said that the one who set the date must be an ang moh. Doesn't he or she know that CNY last for 15days?!
Anyway, I didn't study much for my SAT or maybe i should say nv touch... Pls pray for me no matter what... it's 8am tmr morning and should last until like 12pm la.. Thanks! =)
Jessie is leaving tomorrow. Gonna miss her lots! She's one of the niang-est fren i have and really have to learn from her.. hee.. laughing without showing teeth one! But she's a sweet girl. =)
Jessie ah! Better dun marry an ang moh BF there! esp those who don't even know CNY last for 15 days... grr...
k.. I'm back in Spore.

WHAT IS THIS MAN!? I TYPED SUCH A LONG ENTRY AND IT JUST DISAPPEAR LIKE THIS!? grr... No mood to type all over again liao... sianx..
ANyway, in short, it's my slacking day today and i'm in my dad's shop instead of mum's kindergarden and my siblings are helping out in the shop while i slack. I'm not lazy k.. just that i'm helping out in other stuff... i.e. domestic issues! haha.. I'll be going back to the house to cook food and deco la.. cos this is the first yr we are celebrating in our new house and we are very excited over it! Dad invited many frens to come visit and i invited my msia frens too! hee.. finally sia... =)
kk... just let it be a short one this time.. stupid com... I'll be back soon! though i'm like enjoying myself more here. hee.. wanna watch infernal affairs tonight! lalala.. Nice show! =)
Alright.. BLESSED NEW YEAR EVERYONE! If u have the heart, can always call my msia house to wish me BLESSED NEW YEAR TOO!! lalala..
take care, all!

Alright people, I'm in msia, enjoying myself. hehez... a really different kind of lifestyle here as compare to Singapore's. No more dirty house chores, cooking meals, ironing, mopping, sweeping!! haha... Basically, once i reached home yesterday, i just slacked in the TV, watching Dolphin bay.. nice show!! Then proceeded to grandma's place for dinner and saw many other relatives. Man.. i had fun!! even my younger cousins have gotten their driving license and they were laughing at me!! plus cars are not very ex here, most of them have their own cars and can just drive around!! I'm jealous like mad! grr.. then my uncles keep asking when i'm graduating or getting driving license.. hai.. Get a BF who has a car and driving license should be able to satisfy them at the moment maybe! joking joking!
Then we went home and..... HAD FRUITS IN THE GARDEN!! really feel like princess sia.. We have this glass dining table in the garden and last night, we just sat there, ate and chit chatted... with soothing garden lights and fountain beside! relaxing... after which we bathed for our dog. wah lao.. before we dried it, ILKA shook and all of us were wet! haha.. but it was fun la...
Wah.. just when i thought i can just everyday eat, sleep, rot, I realised i have to wake up early at 6:30am!! grr.... like going to sch timing.. but we are going to sch la.. my mum's kindergarden.. cos the students start coming in at 7:30am.. but lessons onli officially start at 9am..
Currently, i'm taking a break... today helped out here and there... coaxing children was what i was doing most of the time.. got told off by sis a few times cos i spoke mandrin with the kids which is strictly not allowed in our sch... hehez.. zhi ye bing! but`nonetheless, i had lotsa fun with the kids.. i like them!! esp, eric from nursery1 and kailun from toddles. =) so cute!! opps... yah.. i totally forgot i had to study for my SAT. grrr... =(
Anyway, now, i'm half dead. very tired.. sch is ending at 5pm but the parents always come late in picking up their kids.. as late as 7:30pm loh... no wonder my sis and mum can only reach home at 9pm each time.. pitiful...
Basically, i'm enjoying myself a lot here... because i miss my family a lot and seeing them really makes me very happy... my dad led family prayer this morning.. he thanked God for bringing us back together and he's able to see us... my heart just melted... ah... i love my dad! Realised that he has changed a lot.. his attitude and speech... God really transforms life.. and that's something only our God can do. Amen.
okok... though i'm enjoying myself, i'm missing you pple lots as well! for instance, my beloved esther foong!! hahaha... and of course des and joel la! okok... qiuxia, i never forget abt u! so take care ya? Enjoy ur Chinese New year with angbaos filled with Singapore dollars instead of Ringgit! =)

Worship and Intercession Meeting on Wednesday.
ok.. I was late for the meeting.. reaching only at 8pm.. And before that, i really dreaded going.. I was tired and wasn't feeling very good emotionally. And I was thinking.. i surely won't be able to concentrate even if i'm there.. there were so many things happening and i felt rather suffocated and overwhelm. But and again, God is faithful.. Despite adversities, I chose to attend and He is always there ready to touch and refresh us AS LONG AS we are willing to draw near..


When I reached, I can sense God's presence almost immediately! I just started weeping... God refreshed and granted me with new strength and even peace! I could feel the calmness and love so vividly that I just want to laugh... =)


The prayer item, relationship with God and giving Him what we have no matter how little it is, was so real to me... cos being consumed by things of the world and responsibilities, we tend to be slack in our relationship with God.. "sorry God, I'm really tired today.. tomorrow k? I promise!" I saw the importance of having an INTIMATE relationship. Not just any kind, like hi-bye or surface ones but INTIMATE one..


So I just stood there and prayed.. Auntie Jenny came to pray for me.. Strength and refreshing. It's really amen and amen!
Therefore, even as i made the choice of putting aside my adversities and run back into His arms, He took me in as i am.. =) I told God, use me, Lord, no matter how little i have to offer u.. I continued to pray and God showed me different visions and words for people.. Initially, like des and esther, I hesitated.. What if it's not from God? But it was so vivid and clear that I just cannot contain it anymore.. So I gave Joel a vision that i saw which was for him.. hehez.. though i really wanted it for myself. It was such a sweet vision. At least i thought it was. =)


Then I walked away and prayed more.. Heard a question that God wanted me to ask qiuyi.. Wah.. qiuyi leh.. She's our leader.. Moreover, I don't even know why that question was posted to her. The more I need to confirm if it's from God but and again, it's ringing LOUD. So I just told her.. When I prayed for her, I felt so painful for her.. She was crying so hard... At that point of time, I told God, "YOU ARE ONE AMAZING FELLOW."


Again, I stood behind the hall and worshipped... Then I saw Qiuxia.. Word from God again.. I was rather overwhelmed.. As in, "God, too many for a night la.. U're scaring me! What would others think?! I'm just a small fry leh!" But I obeyed.. Apparently, after the meeting, qiuxia told me she was waiting for confirmation and she told God to send someone to pray in regard to a certain area... WOAH! I mean.. WOW. Like what des said, by obeying God's voice, u can help God touch lives... Cos if we keep it to ourselves, someone might just still dwell in confusion...


After praying for qiuxia, I really wanna quiet down to pray for erm.. myself? to thank God and stuff.. but I saw desmond AND hai~ u all can just guess it easily.. But this word from God was even confusing cos that's not what i think of des... So I went to him and said something like, "des, I really dunno why i was given this word from God for you but I'll just pray as the spirit leads.." And God was in our midst.. =) On my way home, I received this msg from des, "thank you.. What u prayed for today was actually what i have been praying during every service for many years..." I was very touched seriously... Because God is faithful and He remembers every single one.. Not one is left behind...


Lift up your eyes and look to the heavens:
Who created all these?
He who brings out the starry host one by one,
And calls them each by name.
Because of His great power and mighty strength,
not one of them is missing.
-Isaiah 40:26

So You Would Come


Before the world began, you were on His mind
And every tear you cry is precious in His eyes
Because of His great love, He gave His only Son
Everything was done, so you would come


Nothing you can do could make Him love you more
And nothing that you've done could make Him close the door
Because of His great love, He gave His only Son
Everything was done, so you would come


Come to the Father, though your gift is small
Broken hearts, broken lives
He will take them all
The power of the Word
The power of His Blood
Everything was done so you would come

THE CROSS

A young man was at the end of his rope, seeing no way out, he dropped to his knees in prayer



"Lord, I can't go on," he said. "I have too heavy a cross to bear."



The Lord replied, "My son, if you can't bear its weight, just place your cross inside this room.



Then, open that other door and pick out any cross you wish."



The man was filled with relief and said, "Thank you Lord," and he did as he was told.



Upon entering the other room, he saw many crosses; some so large the tops were not visible. Then, he spotted a tiny cross leaning against a far wall.



"I'd like that one, Lord," he whispered. The Lord replied, "My son, that is the cross you just brought in."



When life's problems seem overwhelming, it helps to look around and see what other people are coping with. You may consider yourself far more fortunate than you imagined.
To be outward looking instead of calling out, "me, me, me." is what i've learnt in 2003...
In 2004,
"Spirit touch your church,
Stir the hearts of men.
Revive us, Lord
With Your passion once again.
I want to care for others,
like Jesus cares for me.
Let your rain fall upon me."


Let your love fall upon me.

apparently, many pple couldn't read the Chinese blog below. Basically, if u see rubbish fonts instead of Chinese Characters, you can right click then go encoding and click on either unicode or Chinese simplified. =)

回来
我迷失了方向，
双眼被蒙蔽。
张开眼睛，
却只看见世界的灰与蓝…
我以为自己已跌入无底深渊，
却发现你为我在远处点亮的灯。
我知道有些时候我的情绪像天气，
变化无常…
而我的孩子气你也完全容忍…
曾经怀疑过你对我的爱，
甚至觉得你不曾存在…
但你仍然单纯守候…
张开双臂，待我归来。
即使在我觉得自己真的不值得你如此，
你依旧轻声在我耳边细说：
“我爱你”。
当我重新踏上熟悉的小路，
心头战战兢兢，
却已见你蹒跚跑来，
双臂依旧张开，
泪流满面说：
“孩子，回来就好。“
“回来就好。”


wrote this when elvin posted his entry on the prodigal son. hehez.. now that i realise Blogger can type Chinese, i'm gonna fully utilise it!! =)
P/s: Sch is tiring but i'm enjoying. Surprisingly. I'm very happy for esther foong today!

Testify To Love


All the colors of the rainbow
All the voices of the wind
Every dream that reaches out
That reaches out to find where love begins
Every word of every story
Every star in every sky
Every corner of creation lives to testify


For as long as I shall live
I will testify to love
I'll be a witness in the silences
When words are not enough
With every breath I take
I will give thanks to God above
For as long as I shall live
I will testify to love


From the mountains to the valleys
From the rivers to the sea
Every hand that reaches out
Every hand that reaches out to offer peace
Every simple act of mercy
Every step to kingdom come
All the hope in every heart will
Speak what love has done


Totally fell in love with this song after desmond sent it to me.. Yes, for as long as I shall live, I will testify to love.